Making a relationship work takes effort from both parties, and figuring out how things should go.

What would you do if you and your wife don’t follow traditional gender roles and her dad came over and criticized it?

That is what happened to the husband in this story, so he stood up for his wife. Now she is saying to just let it go in order to avoid a fight.

Let’s see how the drama escalated…

AITA for arguing with my father in-law over gender roles and my place in the house?

So my (29M) in-laws are visiting for the weekend and I of course try my best to get along and entertain guests but while my wife was out picking up something for dinner my FIL made a comment about how it must be weird letting my wife worry about dinner for once.

Now ill be honest I love to cook and bake.

I also work from home with a job that’s somewhat laid back so when I get time I clean and take care of the house.

I’m also admittedly the bread winner as my wife has chosen a passion job that requires her to leave the house and do stuff that’s actually somewhat physically strenuous.

His FIL is kind of old fashioned.

It makes her happy and I love that she gets to work her dream job even if it does leave her very tired when it comes to chores around the house.

So when my FIL asked me if it was weird I asked him to clarify and he stated, “You let her get away with avoiding all the women’s work. I wouldn’t let that happen at home its just not right. You should be making her do the cooking and cleaning all the time”.

He did a good job defending his wife without getting in a fight.

This obviously frustrated me a little and I didn’t want to argue or anything but I was trying to get him to be a little more empathetic so I responded with, “Your daughter works hard every day and the foundation for her day to day stress is being able to come home to some concept of order.

Some days she comes home hurt because of how hard she works even.

If all I have to do during the day is walk around the house and clean a little and have something warm to eat for her when she finally gets home to relax why would I ever take that away from her even for the sake of what gender should be doing what? Its a team effort and we don’t really see it the way you do”

He grumbled and kind of went on monolog about how its just different now and it doesn’t seem like things are as good these days.

Sometimes it is best to just keep the peace.

I didn’t want to push any further and just kind of awkwardly waited until my wife got back.

I told her about it later and she kind of just sighed and said he’s just like that and really doesn’t want me to engage or argue with him if I can.

Should I have just kind of shrugged and let it go for my wife’s sake?

I feel like I’m walking in egg shells a bit while they visit.

There is no need to argue about everything people disagree with. If the father in law isn’t pressing the issue, just ignore it.

I’m sure other people disagree. Let’s take a look in the comments on Reddit.

His views are certainly dated.

I bet this person is constantly arguing.

This is true, they find what works for them.

He does seem like a good man.

Exactly, just keep the peace.

There is no need to argue with everyone you disagree with.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.