Friendships thrive on empathy, but insecurity can twist even the purest of intentions.

When a new mom recounted her birth experience, her friends’ insecurities took center stage, turning what should have been a joyful moment into a sour misunderstanding.

You’ll want to read on for this one.

AITA for telling our friend she isn’t better just because she didn’t get an epidural?

My friend Sarah (27F) recently gave birth to her first child one month ago.

She is the youngest in our friend group and is also the last one to have a child.

We were all, of course, very excited to meet both her and the baby, and to support her during postpartum and her journey into motherhood.

Their first visit started off well enough.

We finally got to see her this past Friday, and everything was going very well.

We all enjoyed meeting up as a group, and motherhood seemed to be treating her well.

Then, another friend of ours asked her about her birth experience.

Sarah told us about it and mentioned that she did not have an epidural.

And that’s where the trouble started.

I was a little annoyed because some moms seem to think going through unnecessary pain is something to brag about.

I didn’t think Sarah was like that.

So, I made a joke: “Cool, did they give you a medal, or should we do that?”

Tensions begin to rise.

She asked me if that comment was really necessary.

I told her that she knew all of us had chosen the epidural, and shaming us for it wasn’t a good look.

I also said that not having an epidural isn’t something to brag about.

Sarah responded that it wasn’t her intention to make anyone feel that way.

Regardless, the friends start to gang up on Sarah.

But our friends agreed with me and told her that I was right — if her point wasn’t to bring us down or to brag, she could have just avoided mentioning it altogether.

She apologized, saying she was sorry if she upset us, but that she truly didn’t mean it that way.

Things got tense after that, so we all decided to leave.

They expected an apology from Sarah, but it never came.

I thought Sarah would text us later to apologize, but instead, her husband sent us a message from her number.

He basically told us that Sarah was incredible during birth, with or without an epidural, and that we were the ones shaming her for not having one.

This made the friends even more upset.

We didn’t respond to his text.

Instead, we created another group chat to talk about it.

In that chat, we all agreed that Sarah, like many other moms who don’t choose the epidural, didn’t intentionally try to shame us.

In their minds, they’re disappointed in their friend for slighting them.

But we also agreed that they often think of themselves as superior for enduring more pain, and it was disappointing to see that Sarah — someone we’ve always known as a kindhearted person — turned out to be like that.

We don’t believe we are the AH here.

But still, they wonder if they were justified.

However, Sarah hasn’t talked to us since, and my husband told me, “If you think it’s worth ruining a 15-year friendship over, then so be it.”

I would like to know if we are the AH in this situation, or if Sarah is.

Who knew such a seemingly harmless remark could ignite such a firestorm.

What did Reddit have to say?

There’s a very clear different between what the new mom actually said and what her friends assumed.

This commenter thinks her and her friends acted quite selfishly.

True friends really don’t behave this way.

Feeling shame about certain things is one thing, but unnecessarily projecting it onto your friends is another.

Instead of supporting their friend, they found themselves caught up in their own insecurities.

Assumptions really can turn the smallest things into the biggest problems.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.