February 1, 2025 at 5:23 pm

Her Niece Lost Her Housing, And This Woman Learned Her Sister Would Only Offer Help On One Condition

by Michael Levanduski

Source: Shutterstock/Reddit

Every family has a little bit of drama and conflict, and whenever possible it is important to work together to get through it.

What would you do if you had a sister who had a homeless daughter, but she and her daughter weren’t on speaking terms, so you had to keep conveying messages back and forth.

That is what the woman in this story is dealing with, so she is trying to tell mom to offer to help the niece, but mom will only do it if the niece lets her see her grandchild.

Check it out.

AITA for telling sister to step up and help her adult child?

My (38f) sister (51f) (let’s call her Jenny) has 5 children who are now all adults: 31m, 30m, 28f, 27m, 24m.

Three of those children (30m, 28f, 27m) have either very limited contact with their mother or refuse to have contact at all.

She thinks they are being selfish and ungrateful, but they all have valid reasons for not being in contact.

Sounds like a hard situation.

Her daughter (let’s call her Lily) now has a young child of her own and, thanks to her unwanted advances from her former housemate, she’s in emergency accommodation while she waits for social housing.

She has been in emergency accommodation since before Christmas.

My husband (42m) and I offered her, and her child, the use of our spare room until she gets on her feet, but she declined it because it would lower her chances of being provided her own place.

The problem is that she doesn’t have her own car.

That is nice of them to offer to help.

We have lent her my husband’s car and have promised her that we would help her get a car and that we would initially pay for it, but that she would have to work off her debt by doing some cleaning and maintenance for us, and she has happily agreed.

This whole time, her mother, Jenny has shown little interest in her daughter.

They don’t have the best relationship as it is, and Lily feels constantly let down by Jenny.

This family has too much drama.

With permission from Lily, I have been updating Jenny on the situation, which has led to Jenny complaining that she only hears about Lily’s situation from me.

Today I asked her if she’d be willing to spend some of her savings (that she told me about) to help get Lily a car.

She was angry with me for making that suggestion while not telling Lily that she had to start spending time with Jenny.

Jenny also said that she’d been asked to do this by another sister and that she was “looking for cars as we speak” despite not being aware of the requirements of a car.

She needs to stay out of Lily and Jenny’s relationship.

Apparently, she wants to tell Lily that if she wants money for a car then Lily has to let Jenny have access to the grandchild.

Lily has not once asked Jenny for help, it is all coming from me.

I told Jenny that HER daughter was HER responsibility, not mine, and that she needed to reach out and help her.

Here’s where I might be TA, I was a little rude in our conversation which was over text message.

I stand by what I wrote (that she had to step up and provide for her adult child), but I wasn’t very kind and I let my growing frustration bubble over and it showed in the texts.

AITA?

This person needs to let Lily and Jenny figure out their own relationship and not try to push them together.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say.

This is completely true.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This person makes a good point.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This commenter says not to involve the sister at all.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Here is someone who points out that Lily didn’t ask for help.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This person says not to push a relationship her niece doesn’t want.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This sister needs to mind her own business.

Help or don’t, but realize that some people will never change.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.