If there’s one thing that everyone on earth is super extremely chill about, it’s religious traditions.

Not.

Still, after eleven plus years of marriage, you would think this couple would have ironed out any miscommunications and differences.

Turns out they still have more work to do, though.

Check it out.

AITA for ruining religious celebration?

I (36f) been married to my (42m) husband for 11 and a half years.

For the context I changed my religion to be with him and he in general is a good, loving and caring husband and a father to our 4 year old son.

We fight occasionally like all couples do but today I was really offended and hurt.

The setting is a specific celebration:

Since I come from a different culture I usually expect guidance from my husband for the religious celebrations.

I am happy to prepare food for it and celebrate it together but I always ask him to get the food, or at least tell me what he would like to have for such celebrations.

So this time was no different, in the morning he went for prayers with our son and said that we together will prep breakfast when they’re back.

Out of love I wanted to make sure all is ready for when they’re back, so I prepped the food, added some extras, cleaned the tabled changed table cloth so it would look nice and presentable, the only thing was left to do were eggs, which we prefer to do it fresh anyway.

All good so far.

But then…

So when my husband came back he saw the table and said nothing, he went to the kitchen to start prepping eggs.

I went to help him and asked if he saw the table, he said he did.

So then I asked if he liked it?

He said yes, to which I said that it would be nice if he would acknowledge it as I put the effort in.

He then proceeded to say that it’s understood in his culture that women on such religious celebrations would prep the table and wait for their husbands to come back and have breakfast together.

In other words, he doesn’t need to say thank you as it’s expected from the wife.

Well that’s a bit rude.

It made me feel unappreciated and I didn’t let it slide.

I asked him if I don’t deserve his appreciation for doing something nice for my family?

He said thank you but don’t expect a thank you in the future as there are only 2 days of big religious celebrations in the year.

According to his culture it is expected for me to prep and serve food when he’s back after prayers.

I got really mad, because why the **** should I be doing all of that and not expect a simple thank you?

Should I not receive any appreciation for the extra effort I put it, making sure food is ready as I know both my son and my husband would be hungry when they got back.

And the whole thing just got heated.

He was getting really angry so we ended up having a pretty bad fight about it.

In the heat of the moment said that I didn’t even had to cook much and that there were not that many dishes so why am I making such a big deal and ruining the special day for him.

I was so mad, not only he gaslighted me, belittled my effort and basically told me not to expect any appreciation in the future as it’s an expectation.

To which I said that he could’ve avoided all of this by only saying: “thank you, it looks nice” and we would’ve had nice breakfast, so he ruined the day himself and not to blame me for it.

Am I the [jerk]? Did I ruin the day?

Let’s see what the comments have to say:

Most people stayed pretty focused on the root causes here:

How much will you give up in the name of culture?

Some pretty sobering words here:

Mistreatment in the name of one creed or another doesn’t feel any less like mistreatment.

I can’t imagine this is going to work out.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.