As the years pass, the dynamics between parents and children often change, sometimes in the most  difficult ways.

As a daughter is faced with her father’s mistreatment and her mother’s demand for help, she finds herself pushed to a breaking point. Can she continue caregiving for someone who treats her so poorly?

You’ll want to read on for this one.

AITA for refusing to be the main caretaker for my elderly parents?

My parents are both in their 80s and live about two hours from me.

For reference, I have a sibling that lives right down the road from them.

Her parents aren’t doing so well — physically or emotionally.

Neither of them have aged well — they always refused to be active and have lived very sedentary lives in their retirement, so aging has been hard on them.

My father, especially, has struggled with type 2 diabetes and dementia/Alzheimer’s.

He is very combative and mean about everything, which is how he has always been, but dementia and old age have made it worse.

It goes beyond just textbook grumpiness.

He directs a lot of his anger towards me and is especially mad that I am trying to get them to move into assisted living because they fall constantly and need so much help.

Anytime he disagrees with me about anything, he starts screaming and calling me names and “the thing.”

“The thing” hurts especially hard because I am his daughter, and he is reducing me to something that is hardly human.

She can’t even blame senility for his cruelty.

He will say horrible things when he is completely lucid and remembering everything/everyone.

Or he will say, “don’t feed the thing,” when my mom tries to offer me food.

But one day, enough was enough.

I tried so hard to ignore this treatment, but once he did it in front of my kids, I put my foot down and stopped visiting.

But this wasn’t enough to stop her mother’s demands.

My mother now wants me to come to her 3+ times a week to help with cooking, cleaning, helping dress my father, etc.

I have said no because the way he treats me is terrible, and I have to look out for my own well-being.

Her mother refuses to validate her feelings, which leaves her feeling even more conflicted.

She says I just need to ignore it because he is old and grumpy.

She says I take things too personally and I am obligated to help them because they raised me.

AITA for saying they need either a full-time nurse or assisted living?

Old age isn’t an excuse to treat your own child poorly.

What did Reddit make of this?

This redditor encourages the daughter to continue to advocate for her needs.

At a certain point, her father made his bed and he’s going to have to lay in it.

This commenter thinks it isn’t the responsibility of the daughter to solely care for her parents.

The brunt of caregiving responsibilities should not fall solely on one gender, either.

Maybe caring from a distance is the best way to protect herself right now.

After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.