We all dream of our own private oasis where we can relax and let the troubles of the day and the world drift away.

Whether that’s a cozy reading nook in a corner of your bedroom or a sprawling backyard garden, it’s important to carve out some spall space where you can be at peace.

But for the roommates in today’s story, all their efforts at creating a beautiful backyard for themselves has come at the expense of angering their neighbors?

Are they hogging the great outdoors?

Check it out and decide for yourself!

AITA for spending a lot of time in my yard, making my neighbors feel like they have less privacy?

My friend Julia and I are renting a row house, a small city house with neighbors houses adjoining it on either side.

Right after moving in, it seemed like the next door neighbors on either side already didn’t like it because we are renters and they don’t like that the homeowner is renting the place out.

We hadn’t known that before we moved in.

They were already on fragile footing with their new neighbors because they were renters.

Anyway, one of the reasons we really loved the house was that it has a nice fenced in backyard.

We’re really outdoorsy people so having our little yard in the city was a dream come true.

As someone living in an apartment, I can understand how wonderful it is to have a yard.

We’ve got a grill back there, an outdoor dining table, a fire pit, a bunch of string lights, hammocks, a projector that we can point at the back of the house for movie nights, a reading nook, some potted plants we care or, an outdoor heat lamp, etc.

They’ve really turned their yard into a welcoming oasis.

We hang out there a lot and have friends and our boyfriends over often too.

Julia is polyamorous and has two boyfriends, who are both bi and involved with each other also.

(I don’t know how she does it, it seems like a lot to balance. But they all seem happy and they’re making it work so I don’t judge.)

There are a lot of romantic entanglements in this household, but everyone seems to be having a good time.

Anyway, most of the time we’re at home hanging out together or having people over, we’re outside.

The house is small and kinda old and windowless and drab, so hanging out outside is so much nicer.

We grill, read books, chill by the fire, hang out with our friends, paint, etc… Out there.

Everyone in the house loves hanging out in the beautiful garden space they’ve made, with good reason. But their fun seems to be rubbing their neighbors the wrong way.

And one of my neighbors told us off for always being in the backyard, it ruins their chance to enjoy their own backyard with some privacy once in a while.

He also seemed to be kinda homophobic, saying he didn’t want his kids seeing the guys Julia had over “doing their thing outside” which I assume was just stuff like cuddling or being affectionate because they never do anything inappropriate out there.

Particularly, they are having a hard time with the romantic makeup of the couples who hang out in the yard, even when those people are just existing in their own space and not doing anything inappropriate.

Another of our neighbors asked kind of pointedly if there was something wrong with our kitchen, why are we always cooking and eating outside?

They want to leave their kids out to play without them overhearing adult topics.

How much you want to bet that these neighbors would call anything about their alternative lifestyles as “adult?”

I said I’d be considerate of what I say when I was outside but as far as I know my friends and I don’t talk about anything inappropriate loud enough to be overheard from their yard.

Well, you know what they say: little pitchers have big ears.

She also said something about not liking how many people who nobody in the neighborhood knows coming and going and having a straight line of sight into her back yard every day.

I said “no need to be a stranger, come by and you can meet my friends if you like” but she hasn’t taken me up on it.

They are trying to be inviting, but it’s clear that these people are not interested in becoming friends, just policing what they are doing in their own backyard.

The question is, do they have a point?

AITA for spending all our time at home out in the backyard?

In the comments, people have a lot of thoughts, and not all of them are supportive.

At first, people point out that it’s their backyard, and they can do what they like.

It’s hardly the new renter’s fault if the neighborhood isn’t used to people utilizing that space.

But other people reasonably point out that there’s a huge difference between “using the space” and not being a considerate neighbor.

But as they replied to people’s questions, it became clear that they were not quite forthcoming with their early descriptions of their backyard escapades.

In other posts, they bragged about showing movies on the exterior wall of their home late at night, and having drunken parties.

Others pointed out that maybe they need to put themselves in their neighbor’s shoes.

Perhaps it’s time for everyone to take a ew steps backwards (and into their houses).

It’s common space, but that doesn’t make it a free-for-all.

You have to compromise.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.