Helping your family is a great thing to do, but sometimes you can feel taken advantage of if you don’t set clear boundaries.

What would you do if your mom lived with you and babysat your nieces and nephews, but she refused to set boundaries on when the kids would be there even after being repeatedly asked?

That is the situation the couple in this story is in, so they said no more babysitting in their home and now the whole family is upset with them.

Check it out.

AITAH by telling my mom no more babysitting at our house after she did not respect our boundaries?

I had a problem with my mom and brothers.

My mom and my husband and me live in the same home.

Me and my husband work and pay the bills and my mom is retired but got some money from the babysitting as spending money.

My mom was babysitting my 2 neices and 1 nephew from 2 different brothers of mine.

Brother 1’s kids (2 and 3yo) were not very disciplined kids and were rowdy and my brother would not pick them up in a timely manner or even let us know if he would be late.

This would get annoying for sure.

Initially we were ok with it but my husband started having mental health issues because he was coming home and my mom was stressed, the home was loud and he couldn’t relax.

The kids wouldn’t leave until 7pm most days which didn’t allow us to get our home put together each night or feel like we could unwind after work.

My brother #2 had only his daughter who was 14-17 months old at the time but she was quiet and listened most of the time and would be picked up by 4pm.

Me and my husband would get home around 5:30-6pm.

Brother 2 was understanding of the issues and knew to be responsible with his daughter.

Mom really needs to get a set routine in place.

After repeatedly asking my mom to build a boundary with brother 1 and her not doing it, my husband and I began having issues between us and my mom.

We went through months of discussing and finding ways to accommodate like having them come at a certain time every day to pick up their kids like brother 2 did.

However, my mom would say she would do it and not follow through.

The situation kept getting worse with my husband asking for a better solution as our stress levels and lack of relaxation was really getting to him.

It sounds like mom is part of the problem for sure.

We had so many discussions with my mom and his family together where she would say she would do as we asked but didn’t follow through.

My mom said we didn’t like brother 1 and that’s why we were asking for the boundary.

After several arguments we told my mom we didn’t want to have brother 1’s kids being babysat here she said ok but then they showed up a couple weeks later after she reassured me they weren’t coming anymore.

This led to a huge argument between my husband and I.

He was so fed up and told me no more babysitting for anyone.

He is upset because he is losing his babysitter.

I told my brother 2 about this and he got upset and his wife did too.

My mom went to his house after the argument and we’re not sure what she said but I did have a conversation about the situation with him the next days and it seemed he understood.

Within a week they told me I couldn’t spend time with any of their 3 kids and cut me off.

Brother 1 has always been irresponsible and doesn’t think about consequences. Brother 2 is very responsible and knows boundaries without being told.

They are about 2yrs apart and I’m 7 and 9 years younger than them.

AITAH?

This sounds like a very difficult situation.

Maybe everyone should sit down together to come up with a solution that works for them all.

Let’s see what the people in the comments say about it.

Good point.

Get everyone together in a room.

I do agree with this commenter.

The mom needs to make this couple a priority, not just her grandkids.

Why can’t she babysit at their house?

So much drama could be avoided by improved communication.

Get everyone in the same room to calmly discuss the situation and work out the babysitting details.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.