For the most part, a lot of people try to be good samaritans.

But in this story, a neighbor took advantage of someone’s generosity.

Let’s see which side of the fence we’re on.

AITA for no longer wanting to help a disabled neighbor?

I [37f] have a disabled neighbor [30f] who I’ve lived near for about 7 years.

We have hung out here and there over the years, but we are not super close.

She lives alone and has no family nearby.

It’s good to have friends nearby. But is this a symbiotic relationship?

She has a disability that I don’t know much about which makes it impossible to lift anything at all from the ground, and limited range of motion with her arms.

Though, I do see her doing work with her hands, I do not understand what she can and cannot do.

A few years ago, she started texting me and my husband [47m] for small to medium favors, like opening a window or putting her sleep apnea machine together.

Easy enough. But small favors tend to grow…

I go over and help. She has an aide who calls in frequently.

Recently, she was unable to get her groceries delivered at a time when her aide could be there so she asked if I would come over and do it.

Also, she began having food delivered that people were leaving on the ground and she was texting multiple times a week for someone to come over and place it on a table near the door so she can lift it.

One day recently, she asked for help and I ended up taking out lots of trash and doing a load of laundry, which I felt crossed the line.

Yeah that’s more like servitude than a helping hand…

The grocery delivery slots are severely limited due to the virus, and she’s asked 6 weeks in a row for help putting them away.

This week, she sent me a message asking if I would agree to put her groceries away permanently.

I pushed back saying that this was a temporary favor that I would expect is going to end once the schedules align between the grocery company and her home health aide.

She wrote me back and said that she was phasing out the aide in hopes of starting a group of people who could exchange labor for each other.

Uh-oh sounds like more free labor for this neighbor if she gets her way.

She is asking that I join and commit to putting the groceries away sometimes, being a backup for other chores when people cannot do them, and walk her dog once a week.

After expressing my boundaries with favors, I am a little taken aback by her doubling down.

The neighbor often suggests in text that she can offer things in return for the help.

She did give me flowers once and a bottle of wine another time.

She does say thank you.

At least there’s some expression of gratitude. Is it enough?

AITA for wanting to tell her that I cannot help at all?

I am a full-time public school teacher and it’s a job that breeds compassion burnout as is.

I do not get joy out of helping her.

I find the requests annoying and I do not understand why she doesn’t try to pitch in with the groceries in some small ways that are within in ability, rather than standing around while I put groceries away for 30 minutes or longer.

Often times the requests for favors have come while I’m in bed and I have to get dressed or say no, to which I feel she has bristled slightly when told no.

This sounds like an on-call job.

I feel bad knowing that she has these limitations, but my mindset says that she should move to a smaller apartment, get rid of the dog, and/or make lifestyle changes to accommodate the cost for an aide, rather than replace that labor with friends and neighbors.

Am I being ableist?

Should this able neighbor keep helping out?

Let’s see what the comments say…

One person says, NTA she needs full-time help.

Someone else says, you can have sympathy but also boundaries.

Another person says you’re not bound to her boundaries. Set your own!

Somebody else says you have a job already?

Another person says just say no.

Being a good neighbor doesn’t mean being a full-time caretaker.

They’ve already gone above and beyond.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.