Sibling dynamics can be extraordinarily fragile, especially when childhood trauma lingers just beneath the surface.

When her sister opens an old wound during a birthday celebration, one woman’s actions leave her questioning whether she acted out of principle or out of turn.

Read on for the full story.

AITA for changing reservations over something my sister said?

I (20F) turned 20 last week. I made reservations at a restaurant for the evening of my birthday and planned for me, my mum, my stepdad, my best friend, and my younger sister (18) to go.

Two days before my birthday, my sister and I had an argument because I wasn’t able to pick her up.

My friend had a medical emergency, and I was the only one with him at the time, so I stayed with him.

I was able to leave when the ambulance arrived due to his sister getting there.

Her previous commitments unfortunately got lost in the shuffle.

I was panicking at the time and forgot to text her that I wasn’t able to pick her up.

I completely forgot I was supposed to pick her up and then went home.

I apologized profusely, but she was still furious. We were both shouting because the argument got heated.

Then her sister said something that she wouldn’t be able to take back.

She then said, “You’re acting just like our dad.”

Our dad was neglectful and emotionally abusive to us growing up, and we often argued with him. He frequently forgot to pick us up from school.

These words hit her like a pound of bricks.

This comment devastated me, as I still have a lot of trauma I am working through because of our dad, and she knows very well these types of comments hurt.

She kept repeating that I was acting like our dad and told me that I’m no better than him.

I left, and she tried to call me, but I didn’t answer.

She decided she didn’t want her sister at dinner anymore.

I decided to change the birthday dinner reservations from 5 to 4 and texted her that she was no longer invited.

I received no reply.

I had a good birthday overall, but my sister made no effort to contact me and didn’t acknowledge the text I had sent her.

But the argument wasn’t over yet.

When it came time for the dinner, she called me and was screaming that I needed to change the reservations again to include her because she wanted to come.

I hung up on her.

I had told everyone coming to the dinner what was happening beforehand, and they seemed fine with it until we got to the restaurant.

Now the rest of the family is getting involved.

My mum told me she was disappointed I couldn’t be the bigger person.

I was shocked and asked what she meant, and she told me what she said “wasn’t that bad.”

All throughout dinner, she kept saying that I needed to get over “silly disagreements.”

I left after paying and haven’t spoken to my mum since.

Now she doesn’t know how to proceed.

I keep thinking about what happened, and I don’t know if my mum was right.

I don’t know if I should have been the bigger person.

AITA?

It’s so hard to know when to hold your ground and when to be the bigger person.

What did Reddit make of all this?

It’s important to remember that her sister is likely experiencing a lot of the same emotions she’s experiencing herself.

But that doesn’t excuse the rest of her behavior.

There’s a lot of nuance in this situation that needs to be considered.

Why is it that her sister can’t accept any of the blame?

Sometimes standing up for yourself means making tough choices.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.