Boundary setting should be a class we all have to take before we become adults.

When it comes to setting boundaries with in-laws, it can become complicated, especially when you live together!

Read how one Redditor turns to the online forum for advice on how to stop her mother-in-law from continuing to use her and her partner’s personal bathroom.

Here are all the details…

WIBTA if I asked my MIL/roommate to stop using our personal bathroom?

For the last few months, my bf (M25) and I (F26) have been renting a house with his mom (F49).

The house is a built like a duplex: there are 2 bedrooms and a bathroom with a tub on the main level, and a whole bachelor’s apartment in the basement, with a bathroom with a shower.

Some of the spaces are shared, but some have clear separations.

We share a laundry room, a kitchen and a living room. The main level bathroom has two doors: one leading to our bedroom, and one leading to the hallway.

Before we moved in, my MIL requested to have the basement as her space.

We were happy with that arrangement, and put a door in the basement so that her area would be private.

My bf and I viewed the house alone as she said she wanted no part in the process, but we showed her the photos of the unit so she could approve.

But the OP’s concern is about one particular room the mother-in-law accesses.

My issue lies with her bathroom use when my bf and I aren’t home.

My MIL and I both have issues with boundaries: I have a hard time setting them, and she keeps asking for weirder things.

There are many past examples of the mother-in-law’s boundary bending.

Before this issue, she was using my car to get to work, and not paying her fair share of the groceries.

My bf is more prone to letting things go because she has a tendency to become defensive and blame her mental health on things.

A while back, she asked if it would be okay to use our (the main level) bathtub while we were gone so she could use her bathroom products. She said she would clean the bathtub afterwards.

And the OP hasn’t really modified this agreement since.

I reluctantly agreed, because she said it was unfair that she had no access to a bathtub (my mistake).

Since then, she’s left her bath products in the bathroom, used up my cleaners to clean the tub and keeps using the toilet, even when we are home.

Keep in mind, I’m the only one cleaning the bathroom, and a bunch of my personal stuff is in there.

I now lock the door to the hallway, so the only way in would be through our bedroom.

She’s slowed down on using the bathroom a whole lot because of this.

But one circumstance was the last straw…

This all came to a head today.

My bf and I are going on a little getaway.

He receives a call from her asking where the tub stopper is.

Problem is, the stopper is where all of my personal stuff is in the bathroom, so I lied and said I didn’t know where it is.

I’m currently fuming because she used our room to get into the bathroom and now she’s probably going to go through my stuff.

So, how does the BF feel in all of this?

My bf agrees that, while she has no sense of boundaries, that this arrangement is only temporary and I shouldn’t bother speaking up about it.

To be honest, I’m sick of having these discussions about things I feel are obvious, like not going into my room to do my laundry, never swinging open my door, or participating in cooking for all of us.

WIBTA if I asked her not to use the upstairs bathroom anymore?

Is this woman being passive-aggressive, or should this mother-in-law be able to realize her behavior is inappropriate?

Let’s read the comments below for more information.

Redditors’ responses varied.

This person thinks her boyfriend should talk to his mom.

One user prompted the woman to use her words.

And another simply said “YTA” for even asking…assuming she already should know the answer.

Nobody is a mind reader.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.