When you have a skill like being a seamstress, you will often be asked by family members to help make various items, which can be a great service to provide.

What would you do if your sister asked you to make a traditional dress for your niece, but then she refused to pay you for the materials as agreed?

That is the situation the seamstress in this story is in, and she isn’t sure if she should stop working on the dress, or just finish it to ensure her niece is happy.

Check out the details below.

AITAH for refusing to make a traditional dress for my niece?

A little context, because its needed: I (43F) am Norwegian, and we have a traditional national dress called a bunad, that we wear for special occasions like our constitution day, weddings and more.

They can cost anywhere between 3000 and 10000 dollars.

Every bunad is tied to an area in norway, and you get the one that symbolizes where you are from.

It is common to recieve a bunad when you are 15 years old for the confirmation of your baptism.

I am a seamstress, so I made my daughters bunad myself when she had her confirmation.

Now that you know that, I can get into the issue.

That is really nice that she can help her sister like this.

My sister (46) came to me last year to ask if I could make a bunad for my niece, K’s confirmation.

She told me that the only way they’d be able to afford one was if I made it.

My sister assured me that I would be compensated for my time and the materials that went into it, so I agreed.

The first issue was when I had bought the materials needed to start making it, and my sister couldn’t compensate me for it.

She told me that she just didn’t have the money at that moment, but she and K had taken a trip to Spain that same month.

We spoke about it and I told her that if this was important to her and K she would have to prioritize.

Umm, if anything inflation would have made the dress easier to afford since she would be paying prices from months ago.

She agreed and promised to pay me for the materials when she had the chance.

She ended up paying me half and excused it by blaming it on inflation.

I gave up trying to get the money from her and told myself it’d be part of K’s confirmation gift.

Fast forward to current day, I am about halfway finished with her dress.

Because my sister is known to be quite unreliable when it comes to reimbursing people I sent her a message and asked if she’d pay me what we agreed for the bunad.

She asked me why, since it wasn’t finished yet.

I told her I just wanted to be sure that I’d be compensated for my work, and brought up how she never paid the last half of the cost of materials, and she stopped responding to my messages after that.

The last time we saw each other was at a family gathering, where I again brought up the topic of her paying me for my work, and she blew up at me telling me I had no right to charge her for a gift.

The sister is never going to change, if it didn’t cause financial problem, I would make the dress for the niece and give it as a gift.

I reminded her of our agreement, and we went back and forth for a while, ultimately resulting in me telling her that I wouldn’t finish it if she had no plans of paying me for my time.

When I got home I started thinking about K, and how none of this was her fault, but she’d be the one feeling the consequences.

It didn’t help that my daughter told me how K had been talking about how excited she was to try it on for the first time, and how much she looked forward to matching with everyone else.

(This would make K the only woman in our family not to have a bunad).

I have been thinking about this a lot, and its making me feel like an AH to know that K is going to have to take the consequences of my sisters actions.

I’m considering just making it anyways, so I wont ruin her special day, but I don’t want to give in to my sister like I have so many times before.

As long as she can afford it, I wouldn’t worry about teaching the sister any lessons.

If I set my foot down she might realize that she cant go through life expecting things to just work themselves out, but I am also thinking that its not my job to teach my sister these lessons, and that I should just do it to make K happy.

No matter what she does, she is not a jerk for doing it.

For me, I would finish the dress and give it directly to the niece, telling her that it was a gift to ensure her mom doesn’t take credit.

Beyond that, have a calm conversation with the sister say that you would never do anything like this for her again without full payment up front, no exceptions.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

Yeah, sadly this seems to be true.

This commenter is right.

This person thinks the sister never intended to pay.

Here is someone who says to talk to the niece privately about it.

This commenter says to stop making the dress.

Her sister is taking advantage of her good nature, and it needs to stop.

Failing to set boundaries is setting boundaries.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.