The latter years of an elderly person’s life can be interesting, to say the least.

And when you have older family members that you care about, it’s easy to tolerate some of their more quirky behaviors.

But sometimes, their actions are more than a little out of control.

And even though you want to do your best to understand and empathize with them, it can get challenging to say the least.

That’s exactly what happened to the woman in this story, who moved in with her grandpa to help him enjoy the last years of his life in his own home.

Eventually though, his behavior became more challenging than she’d expected.

Read on to find out what happened to cause her to give him an ultimatum.

AITA for telling my Grandfather it’s either a lock on the door or he goes into a home?

I am a 26 year old woman with a background in elderly care as a CNA.

I have been staying with my grandpa for almost a year now.

I moved in to help out around the house and keep tabs on his health and wellbeing, as I am the only family member in state who is (kind of) willing to do so.

Let’s see how this situation came to be.

This all happened after years of watching my grandmother (his wife) slowly decline while the rest of the family sat back and did nothing until it was too late.

She passed a little over one year ago.

I did the best I could, coming and checking on her when I could as well as taking her to all her doctors appointments both as moral support (as she was going through dementia and declining fast) as well as to relay the information on her condition back to the rest of the family in the hope they would intervene.

The rest of the family ignored my pleas to either let me move in with them or to find a nurse who they trusted.

There were trust issues half of the family had towards me for some bad life choices I made when I was aged 18-21.

But due to the passing of my grandma, that half of the family changed their outlook and wanted to rekindle our relationship, and things have been really great since then.

Read on to find out how the living situation has panned out.

Shortly after my grandma passed, my family and I decided the best course of action was to have me move in with my grandfather as he was now alone.

He did not want to move to any other state to be with either of his sons, nor did he want to be moved into a retirement home (understandably!)

Things have been VERY bumpy.

In his house, the basement has a living room/studio style bedroom with plenty of space for both my Australian Shepherd and myself to spread out.

However, it doesn’t have a door and the base of the stairs is right at the entrance to this space.

The laundry room is also downstairs and has been the main source of our arguments.

He has a tendency to come down unannounced to do laundry, and in some cases, just to come down and look in my living area.

Uh-oh. Let’s find out how this is affecting their relationship.

After almost a year of dealing with him coming down at odd hours, including while I am sleeping or showering, I talked with him and the family and we decided to put a door at the top of the stairs.

This is where a door had been originally, but it was taken out many years ago and if we could do it again, we would have put it in the doorway of my living area.

I went to see family out of state for Thanksgiving in November and the door was installed while I was gone.

When I got back, I let my grandpa know I was going to be looking for a doorknob to put on it that had a lock, so I could feel safe and was able to have some boundaries about my space.

However, it really was to keep him from walking in on me changing, sleeping, etc.

But grandpa’s reaction was not what she expected.

This is where all hell broke loose.

He began to rage about “Its my house and I can go where I want, when I want.”

To which yes, I agree! It is your house.

But I am not comfortable with how things have been and no longer feel safe to change clothes in my own room!

Let alone the safety issue of him coming down the stairs while I am gone, as he has a dead foot and goes down them backwards.

Its a disaster waiting to happen!

And then even more of a disaster struck.

Then the drain downstairs for the water heater flooded and I had to move my dog and myself back to my mom’s while there was construction on the pipes, as well as the walls and floors that got damaged.

(There was a problem with asbestos and I didn’t want my dog anywhere near it.)

The construction and clean-up took MONTHS!

Hence why I am posting this in May.

I just moved back in and will be putting the lock on the door TODAY!

And this is where I am having the issue.

After MANY arguments about the lock, I gave up on being cordial and told him exactly what the options were.

Either I get the lock on the door and he can respect my boundaries, or I can move out and his sons would move him into a retirement home.

He has been aware of the fact that I am the only thing keeping him in this house, especially due to the fact that all the family he has, outside of me, is out of state.

Let’s see how grandpa and the wider family reacted to her ultimatum.

I have brought up the issue with my uncle and my dad, in the hope that they would have my back, as they were the ones who helped me get the door installed to begin with and the lock was supposed to be a part of that.

But they have sided with him and are now saying I am overreacting.

They think if I get a lock, he needs to have a key and should be able to access it whenever he wants – which defeats the entire purpose of the lock!

And then the situation got even worse.

Some family on my mom’s side told me to put a camera in my space to get proof of him invading my personal space and privacy to show them what I have been dealing with, and boy did it show a whole new side of this problem!

He has gone through my dresser drawers, my nightstands, and even my trash!

I have TOO MANY videos of him invading my space and I am even more uncomfortable than ever!

However, my dad and uncle are still saying I am over reacting and “it’s his home”.

AITA?

Yikes, this grandpa really has no understanding of boundaries.

His granddaughter is doing a wonderful thing by living with him so that the can stay in his own home, and he needs to respect that.

As for the other family members suggesting she’s overreacting while doing nothing to help themselves – this just feels like hypocrisy in action.

Let’s see what the folks on Reddit thought about this.

This person thought that enough was enough.

While others suggested that the family needed to see the issue for what it was.

And this Redditor pointed out all the gratitude that she was owed.

The family are leaving this woman in an awful position, while she is seemingly the only person who is willing to help.

She deserves a huge amount of gratitude, not belittling.

She’s not being disrespectful or overreacting: she’s just asking for the bare minimum when it comes to privacy.

He is out of line.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.