Household chores can reveal more than just dust and clutter. They can end up revealing deeply rooted family dynamics.

When one young woman suggested everyone pitch in equally on the chores, she didn’t expect to become the villain for asking her brothers to help for once in their lives.

You’ll want to read on for this one.

AITA for refusing to do house chores after my mom said only girls should do them?

So I (22F) live at home with my parents and siblings — including my brothers (23M, 21M, and 18M) and my younger sister.

The house needed a deep clean, and I suggested that it would be faster and fairer if everyone pitched in — not just the girls.

Initially, it seemed like her mother was amenable to this idea.

My mom actually agreed at first and said, “That sounds like a good idea.” I was actually surprised and thought we were all on the same page.

But eventually they just fell right back into their old patterns.

But then she told me to start by vacuuming all the carpets, and told my sister to do some other chores around the house.

We got to work, but I started wondering when my brothers were going to be called in to help. They were just playing video games in the other room the whole time.

So this time, she pushes back on her mom.

I asked her about it, and she basically told me to be quiet and just do the work.

When I said it didn’t feel fair that she was only making the girls do the chores, she got mad and said something like, “Never in my life have I seen a girl act like this. Aren’t you embarrassed?”

Her mom doubles down on her stance.

I reminded her that she agreed the boys should help too, and she responded, “I never said we would actually do that. They’re boys. You and your sister are girls. This is your job.”

She’s reminded that it’s pretty much been this way her whole life.

To give some context, my family believes that men should work outside and women should do the inside work. My brothers are adults now, but they don’t have jobs and aren’t expected to do either the “man jobs” or “woman jobs.”

They’re free to sit around and play video games and don’t have to help anyone, while my sister and I do all the work.

Her dad isn’t any more helpful.

I even tried to ask my dad to step in, but he just ignored me and kind of mocked me.

So she decides she’s done just blindly following the rules.

At this point, I’ve stopped doing the chores out of protest. My mom is now really angry at me and thinks I’m being disrespectful and lazy.

I feel like I’m just standing up for what’s fair, but part of me wonders if I’m being a jerk by refusing to help now.

So, Reddit — AITA?

Her mother is really one to talk about respect…

What did Reddit think about all this?

Spending time in environments like this really isn’t healthy.

If her mother won’t set limits, she’ll have to set those limits herself.

This commenter advises the young woman to simply get out of there as soon as possible.

This type of attitude really isn’t good for the boys in the family either.

She wasn’t refusing to help, she was just refusing to be treated unfairly.

If that makes her disrespectful in their eyes, then so be it.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.