Most of us have been on the other end of one of these calls… we have a problem, and a call center representative is talking to us like a robot.

But in this story, we get to hear the other end of a call.

Let’s dial it up.

Just Stick to the Script

I work in a call center for a regional bank, handling everything from balance inquiries to fraud alerts.

The job isn’t glamorous, but most of us were good at it because we knew how to actually talk to people and calm them down.

That seems pretty rare. Wouldn’t wanna mess with a good thing, right?

One day, corporate decided we were going “off-message” too often. They rolled out a new script we were required to follow word-for-word.

No improvising. No adapting to the customer’s tone or urgency.

Just read. The. Script.

Oh boy. The whole reason to have a human and not AI is so they can go off book. Will these employees comply?

We all knew this would go badly. One-size-fits-all language doesn’t work when someone’s card just got stolen or their mortgage payment didn’t go through.

But management was adamant: “If you deviate from the script, it’s a write-up.”

So I complied. Religiously.

Yep. Maliciously. This is gonna backfire on management, right?

One day a customer called, clearly panicked: “Someone just charged $800 at Best Buy on my card and I’m at work—I didn’t do it! Cancel it now!”

I took a deep breath and replied, exactly as the script instructed:

“I’m so sorry to hear you’re experiencing this inconvenience. I’d be happy to assist you with that today. Before we begin, may I ask how your day is going so far?”

Dead silence. Then the customer said, “Seriously?”

Seriously, indeed.

I continued:

“We strive to provide exceptional customer service with every call. Can I please have your 16-digit card number to better assist you?”

The guy actually laughed. “I hope they’re recording this call.”

They were.

We all hope that, bud. Question is, how will they react?

And so were three others that week where I stuck to the script in absurd situations—people locked out of online banking, someone whose check bounced, a woman crying because of a fraud lock on her account.

My supervisor pulled me into a room, looking annoyed but also kind of sheepish.

Baaaa-d job, boss man.

Her: “We’ve had…some feedback. You don’t have to follow the script that strictly.”

Me: “Oh, I thought it was a write-up if we deviated?”

Her: “Just…use your judgment, okay?”

The script was “officially optional” within the month.

I probably enjoyed this too much.

I would too, OP, I would too.

What do the comments have to say?

This person says customers and employees, unite!

Another poster is like, hard to argue with what’s there in writing.

Someone else says, (human) communication is key.

One user is like, cut to the chase!

This person is like, this is all too common.

Not all scripts are well-written.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.