Everybody wants to help out family.

But sometimes the requests are just…a stretch.

If your family member asked you to give them a ride somewhere, that might sound reasonable, but it gets pretty unreasonable when you don’t own a car! Would you be willing to rent a car to give your family member a ride, or would you tell them to find another way to get there?

This person isn’t sure how to handle this situation. Let’s read the whole story to decide what’s best.

WIBTA if I didn’t give my sis a ride to her kids soccer comp?

My sis and I didnt have a great relationship growing up and today we still resent each other for the past but tolerate each other fine.

We see each other on an as needed basis.

Also for context, I asked her for a paid favour recently, which she told me was partly a convenience for her.

I wanted to pay her so I wouldn’t owe her anything but i feel like it was still a bigger favour to me so i still feel like i owe her one, even tho i paid her.

Time to return the favor.

She asked me to drive her to her son’s soccer tournament, which is a whole day thing.

I don’t have a car so I would need to rent one.

It’s 1h40m away from her by public transport, and is about the same amount of time for me to go pick up the car, go pick her up, and then drive to the tournament.

Now you might be thinking, “wait, how is her SON getting to the game then?”

By the way, the son lives with dad but she sees him on weekends.

Kid is getting a ride from dad and he refuses to take my sis because they have a nasty relationship.

She says he is the bad guy but I think it’s mostly her, based on my 30+ years of experience knowing her.

Apparently she has quite a history.

Over the years, I’ve heard her say she has so many health issues but we never know what’s true cuz she has a tendency to exaggerate and lie.

A recent one is fibromyalgia, which she uses as her reason to not do things (example take public transit because it makes her feel pain to walk some days).

And now we get to the question:

I also work 60-80 hours a week and barely have any time and energy for myself but I do feel guilty because.. “family”… and might have blind spots because of resentment.

So, WIBTA for not wanting to take a day from my weekend to give her a ride somewhere she has access to by public transit, chose to not learn to drive, is partly responsible for a bad relationship with the kids dad to a point where he wont give her a ride, that will take the same amount of my time than hers to get to?

It sounds like that’s a huge favor!

Here’s what that comments on Reddit made of this:

Like seriously, even if this were someone you were on good terms with, the rental car element makes this request a non-starter.

She HAS other options.

Nobody thinks you’re in the wrong.

You cannot keep fretting over a debt already paid.

Let her take public transit.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.