Wedding planning is fun and exciting, but usually causes some amount of stress and financial stretch for the soon to be wed couple.

In this reddit story, the couple decided to limit plus ones to long term partners in order to keep the event intimate and manageable. While most of their family understood and respected this boundary, one cousin is hoping to bring a new partner who doesn’t meet the couple’s criteria.

What would you do in this sticky wedding invite situation?

WIBTA for not allowing my cousin to bring their new partner to our wedding, even if we get a last minute no-show?

My partner (30) and I (29) are getting married in September of this year. We are paying for the wedding ourselves and strongly prefer to extend as few obligation invites as possible.

Our general criteria for inviting unmarried partners was that they needed to be in a serious relationship (together at least 1 year, living together, and/or engaged).

Sounds like this couple set clear guidelines for inviting guest and partners and thought it was fair.

We felt this was pretty fair – when we were newly dating, we didn’t expect invites to each other’s friends’ or family’s weddings.

My cousin (28) has a new partner (27) and by the time of our wedding, they will only have been together around 6 months. However, their relationship has progressed quickly: they are living together in my cousin’s parents’ home.

It is clear in our RSVP that my cousin’s family is invited but not the new partner.

Now the Uncle is getting involved and asking questions.

My uncle (my cousin’s dad) asked me if they could increase their party size by 1 person and I politely, but firmly declined. Despite this answer, my brother has recently found out that my cousin plans to bring their new partner to our wedding regardless, hoping someone will no-show last minute so they can slip their partner in.

WIBTA if we hold firm and still did not allow my cousin’s partner to join the celebration?

The couple feels supported and like they made the right choice, but nevertheless, it’s a hard call.

I have the support of my partner and immediate family, but I am torn because:

1) I would lose the cost of the seat regardless, 2) I have nothing against the partner (although that’s mostly because I don’t know them. They haven’t even been introduced to us), 3) including them would create the least friction on our wedding day and beyond, 4) if enough people RSVP no, the partner was originally on the extended guest list, and 5) it feels a little mean/petty/ungenerous.

The issue is that I am upset and offended by my cousin’s disrespect for our wishes and the shady plan they have in place get their partner in.

I am not even that close to this cousin (we spend major holidays together with the whole family but don’t otherwise spend time together) and this isn’t the first time they’ve behaved poorly/entitled.

Other potentially relevant context is that we’ve already exceeded our ideal guest count, and had to make tough calls not including some friends due to the large size of our families. So Reddit, WIBTA?

Let’s see what the people in the comments had to say about this wedding invite dilemma.

This redditor thinks a bouncer would be on par.

This commenter is calling out the couple, the partner and cousin do live together despite only being together 6 months.

This person says NTA, it’s their wedding and they get to decide!

This person advocates for a clear and simple conversation restating boundaries.

I’ll make this very easy.

Just respect the couple’s wishes on their special day.

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.