I’m sure serving in the military is very difficult, which is one of many reasons I never had any interest in doing it.

And while I can respect that kind of sacrifice, that vocation alone doesn’t make you a saint, as illustrated by this story.

AITA for yelling at my husband (44M) for not helping me (36F) with our final apartment move?

My husband (44M) and I (36F) have been married for a while, with two kids (7 and 9).

For the past three years, we lived apart because of his military service.

I stayed in another city with the kids, working full-time, managing everything—household, school, parenting, finances—on my own.

He focused only on his job.

But now that they’re together, the dynamic isn’t changing.

Recently, he got transferred closer, and we decided to move in together again.

We’ve been living together for 3–4 weeks now.

But nothing changed—he does nothing around the house.

I still work full-time, take care of the kids on summer break, cook, clean, do laundry, plan everything.

He comes home from work, says he’s tired, and just rests.

He even washes only his own plate. That’s the level of contribution.

Then came the move.

Where he didn’t move.

Then we had to finish moving out of the apartment I lived in with our kids.

I had already spent two full weekends packing, decluttering, cleaning.

The only thing left was to load things into the car, do final cleaning, and be done.

He helped carry the fridge, then just stood around and eventually left to spend time at his parents’ place (who live nearby and knew I was doing all the work alone).

He hung out with them while I cleaned floors, carried boxes, organized, and sweated alone all day.

And then the confrontation.

I called him angrily and told him to come back.

He did, and we ended up fighting.

He said, “Why should I clean up your mess?”

His view was that since I lived there, the mess was mine.

Never mind that these were our kids’ things, our family’s life—he saw it as my responsibility alone.

It’s always been like this.

This has been a pattern for years.

Even before he was stationed away, he never helped at home.

I worked, raised the kids, cooked, cleaned.

He came home, sat on his phone, and relaxed.

I carried it all—financially and emotionally.

And now they’re in the aftermath.

I finally blew up. I told him off, harshly.

Now he says I overreacted and embarrassed him in front of his family.

AITA for yelling at him for not helping me with the move and leaving me to do it all alone?

Let’s see what the comments make of this:

The sad analysis was pretty similar across the board.

Talk about uninvolved.

Some were very blunt:

He’s definitely not reporting for duty.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.