Not all friendships last forever. For example, you may have great friends in high school, but then when everyone graduates and goes to different colleges or moves away, the friendships fade. The same goes for college, where you may make new best friends, but again, when everyone graduates and moves apart, it’s hard to maintain the formerly close friendships.

In today’s story, one man shares how it has been hard to keep in touch with one of his good friends from college. Now that she’s getting married, she asked him to be her man of honor, but considering they’re not as close as they used to be, he’s not sure it’s a good idea.

Let’s read the whole story to see how this friendship has changed.

WIBTA if I bail on my friend’s wedding?

My friend’s wedding is near the end of this year and she wants me to be her man of honor.

I am considering not going.

We met in undergrad and have been friends for 4 years. In school, we hung out almost every day.

After undergrad, she moved back to her hometown on the other side of the country and returned to her old job. I started grad school and a new job. We have both been busy and don’t talk often.

Meeting up isn’t easy.

Whenever I talk to her in person or voice chat, she is warm and excited to talk to me.

Getting to that point is a problem because she is SO disorganized.

When we make plans, she’s either late or doesn’t show up.

When I text to ask where she is, she takes an hour+ to reply.

He feels like their friendship is an afterthought.

More than once, she drove all the way to my city to see family and didn’t tell me until she was already here.

Once she said she would be in town next week and then didn’t reply to my message for 5 days. I had to contact her partner to tell her to reply.

My spouse and I visited them last year, but it feels like every time they’re here, it’s because they’re seeing family and we just happen to be in the area.

She’s even late when playing video games.

The last time we talked, she suggested playing a game at 7pm.

I said I’d be there.

I waited an hour and asked if she was still going to be on.

She got on 2 hours late, no apology or excuse.

She may not take this friendship as seriously as he does.

She is sometimes apologetic but hasn’t gotten any better with punctuality.

She says she’s too busy to hang out but I also see her and her roommates online gaming together almost every night, playing games that I would join for if they asked.

My spouse and I visited last year and met her friends.

At some point she said that she never had a best friend.

My spouse pointed at me. She looked surprised and said “but we haven’t known each other that long”.

He didn’t see this coming.

She asked me to be her “man of honor” for her wedding.

I was surprised since we barely talked for the last year. I didn’t think we were that close now, especially after the above conversation.

I said I was flattered but might not be the best choice since I live far away and wouldn’t be able to coordinate things from here.

She said it wasn’t a problem and I wouldn’t have to organize anything.

She hasn’t shared a lot of information about the wedding.

I still haven’t heard any details about the wedding.

It’s in 3 months. She told me the date and venue when I asked, but hasn’t sent out invites.

I have no idea what the plan is or if she even has a plan.

I have to take time off work, school, and my internship to make it to her wedding. I feel like the wedding has had less effort put into it than the effort required for me to be there.

But those aren’t the only reasons he’s thinking about backing out of the wedding.

Mostly, I feel hurt and abandoned because I went through a lot this past year dealing with chronic pain, my spouse almost dying, and disentangling myself from narcissistic parents.

We supported each other through a lot when she lived here, but now that we’re long-distance she’s MIA. S

he barely knows what’s going on in my life and I don’t know what’s going on in hers.

After putting in all this effort, I feel checked out and want to move on.

It is surprising that she would ask him to be her man of honor when it sounds like their friendship is fading. If he turns it down, their friendship will probably be over.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This person would back out of the wedding.

Here’s another vote for not going to the wedding.

A lot of people think he should end the friendship.

This person thinks sending a gift is enough.

But this person goes against the grain and suggests following through with being the man of honor.

This friendship has run its course.

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.