I’ve been to a bunch of bachelor parties. Some have been amazing. Some have been lame. None have involved the kind of weird drama described in this story.

It sounds exhausting.

WIBTA for for taking my friend’s wedding as a holiday and not attending the wedding?

I 27F have been friends with Ava 28F, since college.

She got engaged last year to Max and took me to brunch with 5 other girls, to announce we were all bridesmaids for her wedding.

Max wanted Ava to include his sister Mia, 25F, as a bridesmaid, which Ava agreed to.

Ava has met Mia a couple of times and complained in the past that Mia is difficult.

What flavor of difficult, you ask?

The flavor where you accuse people of crimes, apparently.

We all went on a bachelorette holiday together, and Mia accused me of taking her earrings, as I was the last one to head out of the apartment after going to the bathroom at the other end of the Airbnb.

I didn’t take the earrings, and Mia made digs at me the whole 3 day trip about her earrings, even when I tried to explain.

I was super upset that Ava didn’t say anything to Mia, but told me that she believed me, and Ava’s other friends were on my side.

Mia found the earrings when we came back and didn’t even reach out to apologise to me.

After the trip, I sent Ava a message saying I was super upset she didn’t stand up for me or say anything after Mia had found her earrings.

Then came the line in the sand.

Ava didn’t reply, and a few days later, I told her that I was going to drop out of the bridal party.

She replied instantly to say that my dropping out would make the groomsmen an odd number and that it’s too close to the wedding to make a drastic change.

At this point, I could understand where bridesmaid was coming from. She hadn’t been treated well and was only getting a response when she posed a logistical problem, not when she expressed she was hurt.

It’s this next bit that complicates everything…

She is having a destination wedding and has covered flights and a hotel for the wedding for me and my boyfriend bought his ticket and my boyfriend said that we could make it a holiday for us instead, since we’ve already taken the time off work and can’t change it.

The comments were not sympathetic:

“Please be so for real right now.”

Is this a punishment?

Grow up.

You can either ditch the wedding or go on the paid trip, doing both is extremely exploitative.

But if you’re going to let an insult from a third party destroy close friendships with a second party, that’s up to you, but just know that you will run out of friends fast.

It seems like the person who wrote this is probably quite young, and I hope that’s the case. Because that means she’s still got time to learn how to pick better battles.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.