It’s a parent’s job to worry about their kids – to some extent.

But when does concern cross into paranoia, and what does that do to the kid in question?

AITA for telling my mom she’s too controlling and saying I’d rather live with my dad?

I (18F) live at home and split time between my divorced parents — about 3 weeks with each.

Lately, my mom and I have been getting into frequent small arguments, and I’m starting to feel overwhelmed.

It’s all these small things that are adding up.

We’ve always clashed a bit.

My mom can be really controlling: she wants to know every detail when I go out, constantly reminds me about things I already do (like flossing), and is really strict about money.

When I had a children’s bank account, she would literally check it daily and question me about any spending.

She has a decent income, owns a nice apartment, and her parents (my grandparents) are wealthy, so I don’t fully understand why she’s so stressed about money all the time.

She’s especially frugal when it comes to water.

One recurring fight is over how long I shower.

I wash my hair twice a week, which takes me around 25–30 minutes total.

I even turn the water off while conditioner or a hair mask is sitting — a habit I actually learned from her!

Still, she knocks on the door to complain, saying I take too long.

Today it happened again, and we got into another fight.

She thinks 2-minute showers (sometimes even without soap!) are fine, and worries about the water bill.

This seems less like the mindset of someone who’s careful with money, and more like that of someone who grew up in the Great Depression, somehow.

I’ve told her that I’m not being wasteful and that I literally can’t shower faster given my routine.

When I bring up how she’s being too controlling, she gets defensive and says she’s just being a normal parent.

I’ve also told her that I’d rather live more with my dad since he’s much more relaxed and not so critical — but I can tell that hurts her feelings.

She gets sad when I say stuff like that, and I don’t want to upset her, but I also feel like I have a right to speak up since I spend so much time living with her.

For the record – two minute showers are what military personnel are expected to take on base. That’s weirdly restrictive.

So… AITA for calling her controlling and saying I’d rather live with my dad?

The comments gave their two cents:

Feels over the line.

You can just go.

You’re a legal adult, after all.

Best of luck and showers to you.

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.