Moving to a new town with your family is a big decision that should not be taken lightly.

What would you do if you moved away, but then some time later, you regretted it and now you want to take your kids and move back closer to home, but your partner doesn’t want to?

That is the situation the mom in this story is in, and her partner is upset that she is saying she will be taking their kids away against his will.

AITA for wanting to move myself and my kids closer to my family VS closer to their father and his family?

My relationship of 12 years has been a struggle.

In what way exactly? Is this what her partner would say too?

I (30F) have been basically carrying the weight for our family. My partner (28M) has always been wishy washy with everything in our lives. Never consistent.

There’s no progress with him and I feel like he’s been holding me back for a very long time now.

Was this a mutual decision? She sounds very resentful.

We just moved less than a year ago to another town because he couldn’t find a job in our current town. I spent all my hard earned saved up money because he didn’t have a job.

Fast fwd……. This man just lost his job. Had some money and decided he still needed to buy weed when he doesn’t even have his half of the bills.

I certainly can’t blame her here. He does seem irresponsible.

I’m flabbergasted and completely over it. Obviously I will have to pick up the slack.

Back to the story,

She can’t just take the kids anywhere she wants, they are both of their kids. This will end up in the courts.

I finally put my foot down and I said once our lease is over I’m moving with our 2 kids. And I gave him a heads up that I will most likely be moving back to our hometown because that’s where my support system is.

We moved years ago and it’s only ever been us 4. I felt like I was chasing my happy big girl dreams and I feel like he just wanted to keep me secluded from everyone and everything I knew.

I can see why he would be upset, she is telling him that she will be kidnapping his kids.

That made him very upset. He hates our home town. I think he just can’t handle leaving his hometown, making fun of people and then coming back having to be humble. I think he hates that more.

But whatever as soon as I told him that, he was so upset. So, strategically he always comes up with a plan. He asked me to move to the neighboring state where HIS family lives.

Is this really even a compromise on his part? It doesn’t sound like it.

Mind you, his family is not close at all. All he does is fight with them. And they really can’t be bothered to help with anything.

My family on the other hand, they’d drop everything to help me or my kids.

I totally understand why she wants to move closer to her family.

Which isn’t what I want I just want to be able to have family close by in case of emergencies and for my kids to not be alone like they have been for the last 6-7 years.

Basically when I told him that he said I’m trying to throw my responsibilities on my family when the kids have a father. That I’m being selfish for wanting to move back in the same town as my family vs him and his family.

At least they won’t be half way across the country.

That our kids should be closer to him and not my family. And I get all that, but I told him he can always visit because his family is in a different state but it’s only an hour away.

I’m also their support system. Like I’m the parent that has always been consistent. I’ve always kept a job and a roof over their heads.

Well, in this case he does have 50% control of the kids at least, and she needs to come to terms with that.

I truly just feel like I’ve always let him control ME and MY choices and this is just another stunt to continue to keep me close and monitor ME. Because I’m finally leaving him.

I don’t want to make the wrong choice and my kids hate me for it but I’ve made choices for their father for 12 years straight and I hate it so much. I’ve never put myself first.

No, but she is wrong for how she is going about doing it.

So AITA for wanting to move my kids closer to my family vs their father and his family?

She needs to realize that they are his kids just as much as hers, even if he isn’t the most responsible person in the world. She doesn’t get to dictate what happens 100%. Hopefully they can come to a good compromise, otherwise they need to get the courts to step in as soon as possible.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

Yes, she wasted 12 years, but that doesn’t give her the right to make every decision for the kids.

It doesn’t matter, she can’t just take the kids and run.

They have to come to an agreement somehow.

He is selfish, but he still has rights to the kids.

Finally, this commenter gets it right.

These two will be in family court in 3…2…1…

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.