Having a baby is life changing, and at first, that means lots of sleepless nights and not knowing exactly what to do.

Imagine having your mom there to help you every step of the way before, during and after your baby is born. Considering, as a mom, she has been through all of this before, it would be very comforting and helpful to have her there.

The pregnant woman in today’s story shares that her mom was planning to be there for her in this exact way, but now, that might not happen. Her sister-in-law is also pregnant and due around the same time, and her brother has asked his mom to help them too.

What should the mom do? Who needs the help more?

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for telling my mom she should stay with me post partum instead of going to see my SIL who is also due soon

So I come from a culture where it is common for the woman’s mother to stay with her and assist her during the end of pregnancy, the birth and the first few weeks after the baby is born until she fully recovers and is able to care for the baby unassisted.

My mom has always talked about wanting to do this for me.

This is my first pregnancy so while I am very nervous when I announced it I knew my mom was looking forward to helping me through this phase as I am her only daughter.

Her brother and sister-in-law have big news too.

My brother and SIL already have one child and she found out she was pregnant with her second and was due soon after me.

My SIL and I have a great relationship and when she had her first child she chose to have it in our home country where her parents are.

She had the same support from her own mother at the time and even extra support from other relatives including my mom.

Although I live in the US I went to visit her and help in any way I could because she felt that was important (I did too).

Her brother and sister-in-law now live in the US too.

Since then, she and my brother have moved to the US for career reasons (me, brother and SIL are all citizens but all of our parents live in our home country).

They decided to stay in the US to have their second child.

We are both due soon and unfortunately, her parents had some visa processing issues and cannot come in time for the delivery or shortly after.

My mom however got approved and was planning to stay with me as we had discussed before.

Her brother asked their mom for a big favor.

My brother asked my mom the other day if she could come help my SIL out for the delivery as her parents could not make it and she is expected to deliver 1-2 weeks after me.

When she told me I (under the assumption I would have already delivered by then) told her that I think it makes sense for her to fly out briefly for the delivery and the initial nights but that she should come back soon after.

When my SIL heard this she was upset and said that she doesn’t have any family here and my mom was the only family she had and that she should at least be able to stay for the same 1-2 weeks that she is expected to help me out post partum before my SIL’s due date.

She pointed out how their pregnancies are different.

I countered by saying that I feel awful that her parents couldn’t make it in time and that’s why I’m fine with my mother leaving for a few days to help her out but that this is my first pregnancy and I always thought my mom would be there in the way that we have always wanted and that at the very least she has been around the block before.

Now my mom doesn’t know what to do and I think she feels guilty. She has a good relationship with both me and SIL and doesn’t want to upset anyone.

I don’t know if I’m being selfish here so AITA?

I feel bad for the mom not knowing what to do and for the sister-in-law’s family for not being able to be there in time. I’m sure her own mom would like to be there for her daughter.

But, this is her first child, and it sounds like the SIL had plenty of family to help her when she had her first child.

Surely she isn’t being selfish by wanting her mother to be there for her.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This person thinks the answer is easy.

Another person agrees that she shouldn’t have to give up her mom.

This person asks a good question.

Another person thinks she needs her mom more than her SIL does.

Everyone seems to vote for her taking priority with her mom.

Her mom can’t be in two places at once, so she should be with her daughter.

Reddit decrees it so!

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.