There are signs, often called red flags, when a relationship isn’t going to work. But sometimes, the people in the relationship don’t see these signs right away.

It’s pretty obvious when people start doing things like this that a relationship isn’t going very well.

Is this woman to blame for canceling a getaway with her partner after he blew off their plans?

Read on to get the whole story below.

AITA for canceling a romantic weekend with my boyfriend after he prioritized a potential family BBQ over our long-awaited plans?

“I’m (28F) in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (30M) who’s been abroad for 10 months doing a Master’s degree on another continent.

It’s been tough — we went from seeing each other almost daily to only chatting and Face Timing, and the 7-hour time difference makes it even harder.

His mom doesn’t like her.

We’re also dealing with family tension.

His mom has never liked me (very jealous of him and his brother), and we had a rough breakup three years ago (got back together last year).

Since then, his mom (who’s really rude with me) has been firmly against our relationship, saying she doesn’t wanna see him get hurt.

She wasn’t able to visit him.

During his time abroad, his family visited twice — 2 weeks with his parents, 2 with his brother.

I was supposed to visit but couldn’t go due to a very serious health issue that required immediate treatment.

All my savings went to medical expenses, even creating debt.

I tried sending him a Christmas gift, but his family refused to help.

I did manage to send him, on my own, something for his birthday, which he spent alone in another country — turning 30, which I think is a big deal.

She came up with a plan.

So, I planned something special for when he returns.

I asked him to take a romantic weekend trip with me (Friday–Sunday), and he agreed two months ago.

A few weeks back, he mentioned his family might want to celebrate him too, and I said that’s fine — they can have Friday or Sunday, but please leave Saturday for us so we can still go away for 2 days.

He agreed.

Uh oh…

Today, he texted me saying his mom is planning a big family BBQ on Saturday. He suggested we leave Friday, come back early Saturday, and I “could just stay for the BBQ too.”

I lost it.

I cried like crazy (he doesn’t know).

I feel like every time his mom changes plans — knowing ours were set — I get pushed aside and he never stands up for us. He even ghosted me when his parents visited because he “didn’t want to upset his mom” by calling me.

She’s over it!

Anyways, back to the story: I only replied “OK” and he said I was overreacting, and that the BBQ wasn’t confirmed yet.

I told him I’m mad because I’m the only one who hasn’t seen him in 10 months, and the one thing I asked for was to not make plans on Saturday — he had other days to work around. Our plan was already set, and any “not for sure” plans could’ve taken that into account.

I ended up canceling the reservation.

Now she doesn’t want to make it work.

He says we could make it all work, but I don’t want to anymore.

I feel like he’d only go out of guilt, just to rush back home for his mom.

I wanted a full weekend with him — to reconnect and enjoy some time together— not just scraps of time around his family’s plans.

AITA for canceling everything before the BBQ was “for sure”?”

Did she overreact, or was her boyfriend completely out of line for choosing his mom’s plans over his girlfriend’s plans?

Reddit users spoke up.

This person said she’s NTA.

Another individual spoke up.

This Reddit user chimed in.

Another person shared their thoughts.

And this individual said she’s NTA.

It sounds like these two aren’t very compatible…

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.