Being asked to take on a lifelong responsibility you didn’t choose can feel overwhelming.

So, what would you do if your parents decided you should house and financially support your sibling indefinitely so they could live their own dream lifestyle? Would you agree for the sake of the family? Or would you tell them you won’t sacrifice your future for their plans?

In the following story, one woman faces this very decision and is leaning toward the latter. Here’s what’s going on.

WIBTA for telling my mother that I won’t look after HER other child for the rest of my life?

So I (21F) have one sister (23F), whom we’ll call Amy for the sake of the story. I love her dearly, but despite being older, she has a lot less life experience than I do.

She’s never had a job, while I’ve been working since I was 15. She stays inside playing video games all day, while I make an effort to be social. She still lives with our parents, and I moved out as soon as I could.

Amy’s always been mother’s favorite. Our mother has narcissistic tendencies, and while Amy cradles her, I have a habit of sticking up for myself, which obviously, Mother Dearest doesn’t like.

The parents came up with a plan for both of their daughters.

They’ve always spoiled her, like how she got a PS5 the same year I went without a school laptop because they couldn’t afford both. I hate that, in some ways, it’s made me resent my sister even though it’s not her fault, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t.

Anyway, our grandmother passed away recently, and my mother decided that I would move into her house and pay the rates and bills while they sold their house and went to live the “van” lifestyle for a while (this story would be 10x longer if I got into all that, so I won’t) and that my sister would come live with me when they’re ready to go.

The issue isn’t her living there. I do love Amy, and we’ve gotten along as adults. The issue is they’re building her a 10-grand art studio in the yard. Let her pick the room in the house she wanted, along with everything else of our grandmothers. It didn’t matter how much it meant to me if she wanted it; she got it and all because “they want her to be happy.”

She doesn’t like the idea for several reasons.

Except I’m paying the bills, and the rates, and getting nothing but what she lets me have.

There’s also the fact that I don’t want to live in this town forever or take care of my sister forever. I need to be able to have my own life, but our parents expect me to just…. Take care of their kid because they don’t want to anymore? And she can’t take care of herself because she’s never bothered to get a job or go to university?

I understand that my parents want their own lives, too, but they’re the ones who chose to have kids, not me.

Her parents are willing to help with the financial aspect, but she still wants no part of it.

In my eyes, if you choose to be a parent, it’s a lifelong commitment. Even if the kids are adults, sometimes things happen, and you have to be prepared to look after them. Or, at the very least, they should be telling Amy she has to look after herself.

I brought up the financial issues, and they just said they’d put a trust in Amy’s name to help with the house, which is fine, I guess, but they’re still just spoiling her and not urging her to do something with her life.

Amy makes a little money through art commissions, but not enough to live on, and has some mental health issues that affect things, but I do too, and I’m still trying to figure life out.

AITA?

Sheesh! It sounds like Amy needs to stand on her own two feet.

Let’s see what advice the fine folks over at Reddit have to offer her.

This person thinks she may need a lawyer.

For this reader, she should cut the parents off, but talk to the sister if she wants.

Here’s someone who suggests putting distance between herself and the family.

As this reader points out, she may need to move far away.

She should word it carefully. But, either way, she should tell her mother how she feels and then make other plans for her life.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.