If you’re planning a wedding, who gets to make the decisions about what happens at the wedding?

The clear answer is the bride and groom, but unfortunately for a lot of brides and grooms, well meaning yet super controlling family members try to take over.

In this story, one woman’s future mother-in-law has inserted herself way too much in the wedding planning, and now, she wants to control the music at the wedding too.

This bride is left wondering if she’s being a bridezilla or if her mother-in-law really is out of control.

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITA for not letting my mil control the music

My fiancé 28m and I 23f are getting married soon like 4 weeks, and we’ve had ongoing boundary problems with his mom.

For context: she once told me I would “never be her daughter-in-law,” has called me controlling when I didn’t prioritize her “wants” for our wedding.

She invited herself to vendor meetings that always ended with her not being invited back, tried to take over who was going to be in my bridal party for the wedding itself.

Then later told us if we wouldn’t give her that then she needed to be able to give her son away at the wedding as well as spend the day of getting ready with him.

She was nice and threw me a shower but it was all of her friends there and none of mine or my family.

Now, there’s another problem.

The latest issue is with the band.

She’s covering the cost, but from the start we told her you can pick the music that plays in general for dance time but there are 8 songs that we want that and are important to us, including the entrance songs.

Recently, she decided she wanted to change entrance song apparently because she wasn’t invited to my bachelorette even tho I didn’t plan it and wasn’t even going to tell us.

Until there was argument with her wanting to be the middle man between the band and the wedding when we have a planner.

That’s when she flat out told us that the band didn’t think our introduction songs were good.

This might be the mother-in-law’s opinion and not the band’s opinion.

They were inappropriate and not loud enough or the right vibe.

She told my fiancé that she was just going to let them play her song which is a 1990s trance/dream song to all of the introductions and then it would be fine because my songs would play right after.

I don’t like conflict so when he told me that I wanted to offer the compromise of she can have it when she and the grandparents comes into the reception but no one else will have it because it’s not what I want for our wedding.

After it would fade into the usual party anthem entrances for the rest of the introductions like my parents, bridal party and us.

I thought that was a reasonable compromise, but it isn’t enough because she wants it to be for the all of the introductions to the wedding.

At least her fiancé stood up to his mom.

Now she’s threatening not to come to the wedding at all if we don’t use the song she wants for entrances to the reception.

This isn’t the first time she’s escalated to saying stuff like she won’t attend. It’s been an ongoing pattern of her pushing boundaries the whole way through.

My fiancé told her this is our wedding and that while we appreciate her paying for the band, the entrance songs is should be what we want as a couple not a complete different song that we didn’t want from the very beginning when she recommended it the first time.

Now she’s telling people I’m controlling and ungrateful, which has me second-guessing everything.

So AITA for refusing to let my mil pick the wedding introduction songs even tho she’s paying for the band.

That mother-in-law sounds like a nightmare.

They need to stick to what they want. It’s their wedding. Let the mother-in-law threaten not to show up.

After they’re married, I hope they move very far away from her.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

If this person had kept reading, they would’ve realized that the fiancé did stand up to his mom about the music.

I completely agree with this suggestion.

Or she could postpone the wedding.

Another person thinks the fiancé is showing red flags.

This is only a glimpse at what her married life will be like.

I would not want to marry into that family!

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.