Welcoming a baby should be joyful, but it can get complicated when family members have their own expectations.

What would you do if your mom insisted on being there right after the birth, but you and your husband wanted those first months alone to bond with your baby?

Would you change your plans to include her? Or would you stand firm on what feels right for your family?

In the following story, one expectant mother finds herself in this exact scenario and is torn between what she wants and not upsetting her mother.

Here’s the full scoop.

AITA for not wanting my mom’s help to take care of my newborn in the first two months?

I am pregnant (15 weeks) and my husband and I are very happy. The two of us live abroad, and the rest of our family lives in our home country.

When I told my mom that I was pregnant, she became super happy for me and offered to come here to help take care of me and the baby.

She told me that it was up to me to decide if I wanted her to come before, after, or not to come when the baby was born.

Remember this.

I appreciated the help and told her that I would discuss the upcoming plans with my husband, but it was too soon to decide anything.

I told her that for sure I would need and appreciate her help when the baby was born, and would want my mom by my side.

It was clear that her mother was disappointed.

A few weeks later, my husband told me that he had talked with someone at his workplace and he could take 2 months of paternity leave.

He wants to take those months to bond with the baby and help me with the baby and the house.

I thought that this was a great idea and was glad that we would stay together in the first months of the baby.

This weekend I told my mom that my husband would stay home with me for the first 2 months and that after that she could come to stay with us as long as she wanted, to help me and baby, as I would be alone otherwise.

Her face dropped, and she immediately said, “I am not going to be present for the delivery of my grandson?”

She tried to smooth things over, but it didn’t work.

At first, I didn’t know what to say because that reaction was very different from what she demonstrated before.

I told her I didn’t even know if more than two people were allowed in the delivery room.

She said, “That’s not what I mean. I thought that I would be there before the baby was born to help you.”

I told her that I still wanted her help, but after the 2 months, because I would be alone.

She said, “Okay… I guess I am not that necessary anymore.”

Now, she’s not sure what to do about her mother.

I told her that was not true, and I wanted her help and company, but I needed that time with only my husband and baby.

She didn’t say anything, and her smile was weird. She quickly gave me an excuse and hung up the phone.

I felt so bad and even thought about changing the plans because of her reaction, but my husband told me to do what my heart says.

I don’t want to upset my mom, but I believe this time alone with only my husband and baby would be very important.

AITA?

Yikes! It’s easy to see both sides of this, but her mother really needs to see it from her daughter’s perspective.

Let’s check out what advice the people over at Reddit have to offer.

For this reader, her mother needs to be more flexible.

This is something she should consider.

Here’s some advice from someone who’s been in a similar situation.

According to this comment, she should trust her husband.

She has some thinking to do.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.