Where do you draw the line on your wedding guest list?

If you were having a very small wedding, would you invite your stepmom even if you didn’t get along with her?

Read how one Redditor stands her ground after an unforgivable comment by her stepmother.

See the story below to learn more.

AITA for not allowing my stepmom to be invited to my wedding?

I’m a 43F about to happily marry a 37M.

My stepmom has been my stepmom since I was 19.

We never lived under the same roof. We never really got along.

For my dad’s sake I always let it slide.

Her stepmom sounds annoying.

But she’s done inappropriate things like tell me “You’re too old to wear a skirt that length” (to my knees) or tell me my life choices were wrong (midlife crisis – I just went to nursing school).

My dad isn’t innocent, he would always be there pretending he didn’t notice (he’s not that dumb – he knew she was inappropriate).

The final straw was when she angrily tried to tell me I was being a dependent loser like my mother and should move out alone when my fiance and I were going through a rough patch.

And you’ll never believe the next part…

The kicker: my mother (whom my stepmom knows I’m very close to) HAD BEEN DEAD FOR LESS THAN A YEAR at this point! (tragic and sudden).

I realized: I’m an adult. It’s high time I stand up for myself. Now, I simply do not allow that woman in my life.

When I graduated from nursing school, I invited my father but told him she’s not allowed.

In return, he refused to come.

I said “okay” and let it be.

But, this woman’s fiancé still turned up the romance.

Now, the man (aforementioned 37M) who has been with me through it all, took me on a trip to the U.K. and at a beautiful waterfall in Scotland asked me to be his wife.

I’m looking at all-inclusive venues in Colorado. We want an intimate ceremony, just close family and friends, around 20 guests.

I made a list of questions (for when we talk with the venues) and potential guest list and shared the document with my father (and future SIL).

Now, here’s the wildest part.

My dad changed the guest list to add my stepmom and emailed me, “You should invite her. It’s the polite thing to do.”

That language in an email makes it sound (to me) as if my dad thinks I wronged my stepmom.

I realize I could be the bigger person, but I feel like her presence at my wedding would be an insult to my dead mother’s memory. And I’m somewhat sensitive and feel deeply; I would be uncomfortable with her there.

She wants to make the decisions for her day.

It’s MY day.

I don’t want that.

Maybe if it was a big wedding with 200 guests, but small and intimate? I couldn’t avoid her and not feel uncomfortable.

(FYI: my dad walking me down the aisle won’t matter, we’re bucking a lot of traditions and, please, I’m in my forties).

But am I going too far by standing firm that my stepmom not attend?

Should this bride swallow her pride and invite her stepmom?

Let’s see what Reddit thinks about all of this by reading the comments below.

One Redditor noted that this is her day, especially since she’s paying the price tag.

Another user stood their ground: no invite.

Another reader said these comments were unforgivable.

Finally, one user said “NTA,” but the bride may lose something more over this.

This bride needs to do what will help her have the best day, even if that means no stepmom.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.