If you were dating someone and gave them a key to your place, would you expect them to give you a key to their place too?

In this story, one woman gave her boyfriend a key to her apartment, and she thought he was going to give her a key to his place too.

But he hasn’t. Now, she’s thinking about asking for her key back.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITAH for taking my house key back from my boyfriend?

My boyfriend (24M) and I (26F) have been fighting about this the last few days.

I live on my own and do not get any kind of help from my family, while he lives in an apartment purchased by his grandparents. He pays rent (~$800/month, which is on the lower end for my city).

Until a couple months ago, he told me that he co-owned this place with his grandparents but it turns out he is not on the deed and had been lying to me out of embarrassment. We had a big fight about it but made up.

This is starting to get serious.

We’ve been seeing each other for about 8 months.

A few months ago, I gave him a spare key to my place as a token of goodwill and since we were spending almost every day together.

He uses this key regularly and when I gave it to him, he said he’d be getting a spare key made to his place and give one for his to me.

Where’s her key?

Cut to months later and he still hasn’t gotten me a spare key.

At first it was an issue with the property manager, then it was too expensive to get ($50 by the way to have it made, but I suggested just going to Home Depot which he refused).

Now he has to get permission from his grandparents who are hesitant to let me have a key (I have met them multiple times, but they don’t like me because he babysat my cats at his place and they scratched up an old carpet, which I have offered to pay for and replace).

It is unequal.

I’m exhausted.

I hate nagging him to get this done, and if it was an impossible task for understandable reasons like the homeowners not wanting me to, I feel like that should have been communicated when I gave him my key.

I’ve been telling him for months that if I don’t have a key to his place, I don’t feel comfortable with him having a key to mine – it feels unequal.

She’s not sure if she’s being unreasonable or not.

He says I’m being unreasonable by wanting to take my key back and acting on emotion, that it’s easier to just have keys to one another’s places.

That’s my point! It is!

Am I a jerk for taking my key back since he can’t seem to give me a key to his place?

This all feels so juvenile to me. I haven’t needed to ask for permission from a family member to do anything since I was 17, but I did grow up very independent so maybe my viewpoint is skewed.

It sounds like his grandparents are his landlords and don’t want her to have a key, so he can’t give her a key. If she wants to take her key back, that would make it fair.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Here’s a suggestion for what she should say and do.

Another person believes he’s nothing more than a liar.

This is good advice.

She really shouldn’t have given him a key so quickly.

This person suggests dumping the boyfriend.

She should change more than the locks.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.