It is very exciting when your child is picking out a college to attend, and visiting the different campuses is a lot of fun.

What would you do if the child’s father (who you are separated from) said he didn’t want to go to a particular visit, so you didn’t book his travel, but just before leaving he said he wanted to go?

That is what happened to the mom in this story, but she feels like it was not her responsibility to double check to see if he changed his mind.

AITA for not trying harder to include my husband on a college visit?

My (41f) son (17m) is a senior in high school and has verbally committed to a D1 football team.

This can be awkward and difficult.

My husband (39m) and I are separated but still living in the same house.

Over the summer we both went on all of his official visits.

It is always nice to be wanted by multiple places.

Even though my son is already verbally committed, a bigger and higher-ranked school asked us to come watch a game and spend the weekend.

A few days ago, I asked my husband if he wanted to go. He said no because he’s coaching our 8-year-old’s football game and that was the end of the conversation.

That is great that his grandfather can go.

Yesterday morning, the head coach called and asked who would be traveling so they could book flights and lodging. My son told him it would be me and his grandfather (my dad).

We asked him to come because “I don’t know nothin about no fooseball” and my son wanted him there.

They are being very considerate.

Before he confirmed the travel details, I asked him if he wanted me to check with his dad again.

He said no, and that he wanted his grandfather to come. In the past I probably would have pushed him to ask his dad again, but I did not care this time.

I wouldn’t want to travel with someone I am separated from.

TBH, I was relieved when he said he wasn’t going, because he was a miserable travel partner all summer and it gives me anxiety to think about traveling with him again.

Last night, I texted my husband to ask if he could drop us at the airport, and he said, “What about me?” followed by some colorful language.

She shouldn’t have been rude about it.

I, not very nicely, reminded him that he said no, so we got into an argument.

He says I should have asked him again, but I don’t think it’s my job to double check.

It is his own fault, he can’t expect the world to wait on him.

He has a habit of refusing things at first and then changing his mind last-minute, after he makes me beg him.

Since we’re separated, I don’t feel like that’s my responsibility anymore.

Nope, she is right, it is not her responsibility.

I kind of wonder if I should have tried harder to include him since it’s an important trip for our kids future.

So, AITA? Did I put my feelings before what’s right? Should I have tried harder to get my husband to go?

AITA?

No, not at all. The dad had every opportunity to go but he said he couldn’t (for a very valid reason).

This is nobody’s fault but his own.

Read on to see what the people in the comments say about it.

He is supposed to be a grown man.

Leaving your ex behind is a blessing.

This commenter says to just leave him out of it entirely.

Good point, the son doesn’t even want him there.

This person says she already asked, he already answered. End of story.

He is no longer her responsibility.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.