A 21-year-old man says he initially agreed to his girlfriend’s idea for a couples costume, even though it wasn’t something he was excited about. A

s Halloween got closer, he realized his half of the costume was impractical, uncomfortable, and looked low-effort, but when he told his girlfriend he wanted to change plans, she said he’d make her look “stupid” if he didn’t match her.

Now, just days before their Halloween party, he’s wondering if backing out makes him the bad guy.

AITA for backing out of a couples costume last minute?

This conversation occurred yesterday, the 27th of October, 4 days before the Halloween party we are going to.

My (21M) gf (21F) was set on doing a couples costume for a party. we are going to and while I voiced some protest at the time as due to our lack of shared pop culture interests it was hard for us to agree on a costume we both liked, I eventually gave in and agreed.

We decided on a theme that, to be honest, I wasn’t big on, but was willing to compromise on.

How lovely.

I’ll be vague regarding what my costume actually was for the sake of my privacy (ik my gf has Reddit), but when we planned out our costumes, it became increasingly obvious that my half of the costume was very impractical.

Yesterday, when we tried to put it all together it was a total disaster, and we had to abandon half of what we had planned for it.

It’s still recognisable as the character it’s supposed to be, but it looks low effort and will be kind of uncomfortable to wear at the party.

Well, that defeats the purpose doesn’t it?

I recognised that it was late notice to change costume, and so tried to articulate as best I could that I wasn’t happy with the costume, would be embarrassed to wear it, and would be physically uncomfortable in it during our plans.

I had initially said that if it wasn’t okay with her, I wouldn’t change my costume and would stick with what we planned, but I had secretly hoped she would prioritise my own comfort over these plans.

She said she thought her costume would look stupid if it was just her (though for context it’s 2 characters who are a couple, but not a costume that necessitates two people to work), and that it wasn’t something she’d have worn if we were doing separate costumes.

Oh…

But she at a different point also said that she liked the costume almost as much as what she would’ve worn if given free choice, so i think it’s fair to say she doesn’t hate it that much.

While she did say “do what you want” and “I’m not gonna force you to wear it” during our discussion, it was clear she would be very, very upset with me if I didn’t wear the costume.

I have alternate options of costumes for myself, that isn’t the issue, but she would still be stuck wearing her half of the originally planned costume she says.

Yeah, that’s not cool.

It turned into quite a big argument in which I’m being made to feel like the a****** because I don’t want to wear the costume.

Though I won’t be forced to wear it, she has said she will be upset with me if I don’t.

I love my gf and appreciate I’ve put her in a nonideal situation, but i need to know if I’m being an a****** and should grit my teeth and just wear the costume, or if she’s being obtuse prioritising the costume over my happiness.

Redditors thought he handled it poorly, saying he should’ve spoken up sooner instead of leaving her stuck right before the party.

This person says to just suck it up and wear it. 

This person pointed out that he isn’t being a good partner overall.

And this person says he’s making it unfairly stressful for her to scramble for a new plan.

When it comes to couples costumes, backing out can make you the real Halloween horror.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.