Grief has a way of making even the simplest family traditions harder.

So what would you do if your mother demanded you cook and contribute to Thanksgiving dinner, even after you explained you were barely holding things together while raising two toddlers alone? Would you push through to keep your mother happy? Or would you admit you don’t have the energy to give more than you already are?

In the following story, a single father deals with this exact decision and ends up standing up to his mother. Here’s how it all went down.

AITA for refusing to bring anything for Thanksgiving?

I’m the oldest of my three siblings. There’s L (27 F), A (23 M), and T (19 F).

This year, the mother of my children passed away. While we were no longer in a romantic relationship, it was still a hard loss to take, and it left a strain on me and my daughters.

Due to this, I was going to skip Thanksgiving altogether because it just sounded too stressful to corral two toddlers, cook something, and keep everyone happy on a 2-hour train ride to my mom’s house.

We live in a major city and L and T live within walking distance of me while A and my mom live in another state 2 hours away.

Some of his siblings offered to help.

After expressing my concerns to L and T, they were both super understanding and said that I wouldn’t have to worry about bringing anything.

They said they’d help with the girls, and L said she’d cook an extra dish to compensate for me, so long as they could use my kitchen, since I have more space.

I was happy to accommodate.

His mom does not like the arrangement.

My mom and A heard about this and were upset.

My mom said that she expected me to show up and also cook a meal.

I responded that I was an adult and that I would not be attending if I was expected to bring something, as it was hard enough to get two young children on a train ride.

My mother got angry and said that she managed with 4 children as a single mom when we were younger, and we never missed Thanksgiving.

But that was different.

I then pointed out that when she did that, we were much older.

Minus T, we were all teenagers who helped her with the cooking.

This upset her further, and we reached a stalemate. I said that I’d only be showing up if I didn’t have to bring something, and I could instead help my sisters out.

A later reached out to me and told me that I should suck it up and that I was being a jerk.

AITA?

Yikes! It sounds like his mother is being a little unreasonable.

Let’s see what the fine folks over at Reddit have to say about what he should do.

This person would just stay home.

According to this reader, the mom and sister are wrong.

This is harsh, but kinda true.

Here’s someone who offers kind words.

He needs to stick to his plan.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.