You never really know how strong a friendship is until plans and priorities start to clash.

So, what would you do if your best friend planned his engagement party for the exact dates you’d already told him you’d be on holiday, and then expected you to change your trip for it? Would you cut your vacation short for him? Or would you stick to your plans and hope he understands?

In the following story, one man finds himself facing this decision and chooses the latter. Here’s what happened.

AITA For not changing my holiday around to attend my best friends engagement party after I told him when I would be on holiday for?

Around 6–7 months ago, I (M) booked a few weeks off work for a long-awaited overseas holiday. Getting the time off was really tough due to my workplace’s strict leave policies, but the timing aligned with public holidays, allowing me to extend the trip.

At the time, I was living with my best friend (M), who had just gotten engaged and was starting to plan his engagement party.

He asked when I’d be away, and I told him the dates, also explaining how difficult it was to get the time off.

He told his friend he would try to attend, but made no promises.

A month later, he let me know he’d booked the engagement party for a date during my trip, saying he forgot the dates I’d told him (even though I reminded him multiple times).

The reason for the date was that his fiancée was getting braces the following week and didn’t want them on during the party.

I said I might not be able to come, but would see if I could make it work. He checked in a few times over the next few months to see if I could attend, and I told him I’d let him know soon.

Going to his party would’ve cut his trip way too short.

At the time, I hadn’t booked flights or hotels yet as life was hectic, and finalizing travel plans wasn’t a priority.

Two months before the engagement party, he and his partner went on a long overseas trip. During that time, I finally booked my flights and accommodation.

To attend his party, I would’ve had to cut five days off my 24-day trip and miss out on major parts of the itinerary. I messaged him to say I couldn’t make it, and he replied with a flat “no worries”—which felt unlike him and suggested he wasn’t happy.

Finally, his friend responded.

While he was away, I tried checking in with calls and messages, but got no replies.

Eventually, I followed up to see if everything was okay.

He responded that he was hurt and disappointed I didn’t change my plans—especially since my bookings happened later. I tried calling again, but he said he didn’t have time to talk and to message him instead.

He tried to fix things, but his friend isn’t speaking to him.

I messaged him a thoughtful explanation: I reminded him that I’d told him about my trip before he booked the party and explained why the bookings were delayed (work, logistics, contacting friends overseas).

I said I valued the party and had something nice planned for him when I got back (I was planning to surprise him with a road trip). I also said I’d love to catch up before I leave, as I miss him and want to hear about his trip.

Since then, he’s ignored my message.

AITA?

Yikes! It’s easy to see both sides of this, but in all honesty, he did warn him ahead of time.

Let’s check out what the readers over at Reddit think about his decision.

This person thinks he crossed the line at one point.

Here’s someone who thinks he should’ve been more honest.

For this reader, he made his dates clear from the start.

According to this comment, the trip trumps the party.

He should’ve communicated better and told his friend from the start that he wouldn’t make it.

Thought that was satisfying? Check out what this employee did when their manager refused to pay for their time while they were traveling for business.