Imagine being happily married, your wife is pregnant, and you’re really looking forward to becoming parents together. What would you do if it didn’t work out the way you expected and your wife ended up so deep in postpartum depression that she didn’t even want to hold her baby?

The man in this story has been dealing with this exact situation for two years, and now, he’s done. He’s sick of being patient with his wife.

Is that the wrong attitude, or is he right to protect his own mental health?

Let’s read all the details.

ATIAH for leaving my struggling wife?

My wife (32F) and I (38M) had our daughter two years ago. We’ve been together for 10 years and wanted our life together before kids.

The pregnancy was complicated, and when she went into labor two months early, everything happened so fast I could barely process it.

She had to have an emergency C-section, and for a few terrifying hours, I thought I might lose both of them.

But they survived.

After a few weeks in the hospital, both my wife and our baby were finally stable enough to come home.

Our daughter was small but strong, and I thought once we were home, things would slowly start to feel normal again.

I was wrong.

His wife made a big confession.

About two months later, my wife told me she didn’t feel connected to our daughter that she didn’t feel love for her.

I didn’t know what to say. I just hugged her and told her it was okay, that it might just take time and that we’d figure it out.

I helped her get into therapy and tried not to pressure her to bond with our baby because I didn’t want her to feel worse.

His wife must have postpartum depression.

Months went by. I took unpaid leave from work to take care of the baby and tried to keep everything together.

I did the feedings, the diapers, the appointments everything.

My wife barely left our bedroom.

She went to therapy and talked to her doctor, but there wasn’t much improvement.

He stayed optimistic.

My wife’s mother told me she’d “snap out of it” after a while and she just needed time.

So i just kept telling myself it was postpartum depression and that she’d get better eventually.

When our daughter turned one, I threw her a little birthday party. I decorated, invited both sides of the family, and tried to make it special.

Everyone had a good time my daughter was laughing, it felt like things were okay.

This is pretty weird.

My wife stayed upstairs the whole time.

I brought her a plate of food and asked if she wanted to come down just to sing happy birthday.

She told me, “She won’t remember it anyway.”

I just nodded and left her alone.

It got worse.

The next year my wife stopped answering her therapists calls, stopped talking to me and leaving our room completely, no matter how much i tried to talk and get her help.

When it was our daughter’s 2nd birthday i planned the entire party by myself, hoping she might finally come out and join us.

She didn’t.

She hadn’t held our daughter in months. She barely spoke to her.

He’s really at the end of his rope here.

I finally snapped that day.

I went upstairs and told her how unfair it was that our daughter didn’t deserve to be ignored or treated like she didn’t exist.

My wife just stared at the wall and didn’t say anything.

I stood there for a bit, then walked out.

He decided something had to change.

After that, something in me just broke.

I realized I couldn’t keep doing it. It wasn’t fair to my daughter or to me. I’d done everything I could therapy, patience, support but nothing changed.

A few weeks later, I packed up and left.

I took our daughter with me, i went to my mother’s and i have been staying with her.

But the drama continues.

Now my wife’s family is furious.

They’ve tried to take my daughter, they’ve been calling me an insensitive piece of garbage, saying I abandoned her when she was struggling, that I should’ve stayed and been more understanding.

But I was understanding. For 2 years.

I supported her through everything, even when it meant putting my own life on hold.

AITAH?

I feel really bad for him, his daughter and his wife. His wife clearly needs help. She needs more than therapy since that doesn’t seem to be working. Something is terribly off.

He didn’t do the wrong thing by moving out, but his wife, or ex, or whatever she is to him at this point, definitely needs someone to help her.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Here’s a suggestion of how to respond to his wife’s family.

This sounds like a wise thing to do.

His wife’s parents need to step up and help her.

Here are some more suggestions about how to help his wife.

One person suggests medication.

Another person suggests hospitalization and medication.

His wife needs serious help.

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.