It’s tough when growing up with an alcoholic parent.

This woman has endured trauma from her alcoholic mom, who recently got diagnosed with dementia. She uninvited her mom to her graduation, fearing that her mom would ruin her special day.

Was she too harsh to her mom? Read the full story below and weigh in.

AITA for not inviting my mom with dementia to my graduation?

I (22F) am about to graduate from college.

A few months ago, my mom (58F) was hospitalized for a month with severe hallucinations and memory loss, not even recognizing me, and I thought she may not make it.

Since then, she was diagnosed with Wernicke Korsakoff syndrome (an alcohol abuse-related subset of dementia) and another unspecified form of dementia, along with bipolar and potentially schizophrenia.

While I had previously booked her a hotel for my graduation (6 hours away from home, where she is), I cancelled it under the impression she would not make a recovery.

This woman did not want her mom to be there on her graduation.

To my surprise, she has recovered well and is very mobile, but she still lacks social, logistical, and reasoning skills. Like most demented people, she is often confused and cannot follow simple instructions.

Also, given the nature of her disease being alcohol related, I have suffered years of trauma from her addiction leading up to this point. She was abusive and unkind.

She is extremely smart though, so no one but my sister and I feels this way, being the ones who lived with her through our school years. She financed my college, which makes me feel worse. She is entirely set on coming to my graduation now.

My family is guilt-tripping me, saying that I am deeply unkind for not readily accepting the idea of her coming. In my mind, it is my weekend, my graduation, my emotional and physical trauma associated with her.

She cannot grasp that she has done something wrong, nor does she even remember having a drinking problem. I feel horrible, but I know it will ruin my weekend and take away from all of the fun of being a college grad.

Poor mom, but you need your peace, too.

Other people in the comments have a lot to say.

This one is taking her side.

This user puts things into perspective.

Another reader chimes in.

It’s up to you, says this one.

And this one was in a similar situation.

Your graduation, your decision.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.