A wheelchair user with an assistance dog went shopping alone when her usual carer wasn’t available, needing items that could only be found at one specific store.

The problem started immediately: the store had no accessible or shallow trolleys, despite UK law requiring reasonable adjustments for disabled customers.

When she asked for help lifting heavy items, staff initially agreed,  but what followed quickly turned humiliating.

AITA for expecting help/ should I have done something else?

I am a wheelchair user with an assistance dog. I had to shop at a store because there is something there that isn’t available elsewhere. My usual carer wasn’t available to help.

The store didn’t have any accessible or “shallow” trolleys. I asked and was told ((shrug)) they hadn’t noticed there weren’t any. Note, under UK law, they should make the “reasonable adjustments” of having different kinds of trolleys.

Anyway, I asked if, since they had no trolleys, if someone could help me as the items I need are too heavy to lift into and out of a regular trolley. The person I asked got the manager, who said someone would come help.

All sounds well.

In front of all the people waiting to go through the busy tills, the lady said “Ok, we will help you… but because of that, all these people will have to wait a lot longer… ” I could feel the daggers of all those looking at me.

I decided to leave instead, so asked the security guard just to let me out (the doors are one way until you get through the tills).

Then the lady said “don’t be ridiculous! It was just a joke hahah!” Can’t you take a joke?” I didn’t say but… I’m autistic, I don’t always “get the joke” but this didn’t feel like a joke. Expecially to the people looking at me and making unkind comments.

Yikes.

Those people who were staring at me and saying terrible things. The looks were killing me.

I got the couple of things I needed, then she left me at the tills, where I couldn’t get anything in or out of the trolley.

A kind bystander helped me and then loaded the items into my car.

So nice people do exist.

Later in the town centre, several people spoke to me, or rather loudly to others about me, and a couple were openly hateful and threatening. The English are pretty committed to queues.

Should I accept that it’s wrong to need help? If things are set up as they should be, I’m pretty independent…

Was she really making a joke, and I just genuinely didn’t get it? Am I really being an a****** for needing help?

Now she’s left wondering whether needing help was the problem, or whether the system failed her entirely.

This person says there’s nothing wrong with asking for help.

This person says this joke was out of line.

And this person agrees with all…

Needing reasonable help isn’t the problem, but being shamed for it is.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.