Grief can permanently change family dynamics.

In this story, a woman lost her brother and became the guardian of his young son.

She and her mother didn’t have a good relationship with her widowed sister-in-law.

So when Christmas plans came together, she made a difficult decision about who still counted as family.

Read the full story below for all the details.

AITA for not inviting my widowed SIL to Christmas and telling her she isn’t immediate family anymore

I really don’t know if I am a huge jerk or not.

This has been a very long year. I will be as clear as possible.

My brother passed earlier this year.

My parents have not been dealing with it well.

Meet Hazel…

His wife, Hazel, before his death, did not get along well with our side of the family.

She especially did not get along with my mother. I know I am biased.

But she has been a royal jerk to my mom and me.

My brother had a kid prior to being married to Hazel.

She was his stepmom and never adopted him.

I got custody of him after my brother passed. His bio mom is in jail.

This woman noticed how Hazel would talk badly about her mom.

One of the biggest bad points in the relationship was her lying about my mom.

She claimed my mom was calling her names and calling her fat. She was not.

She only came clean after my mom was uninvited from their wedding.

My mom missed the wedding. She apologized to the family about that.

It wasn’t a good apology. She basically claimed it was a big misunderstanding.

Hazel accused her of being too sensitive.

After that, she was passive aggressive to me and my mom.

She didn’t listen to boundaries. This was especially with touching.

She made snide, mean comments the whole time.

When it was brought up, they claimed we were being sensitive. We were not.

She saw how Hazel turned completely around.

She literally called me ugly multiple times in “polite ways.”

I am very happy they didn’t have kids together.

After my brother died and I filed for custody, she did a 180. She became nice.

It is weird. I know it’s to try to stay close to my nephew. He is 6.

Yet she still uninvited her from the family Christmas dinner.

My parents cannot host Christmas this year, so I am hosting.

She texted me asking when Christmas dinner would be.

She also asked for ideas for presents for my nephew.

I told her she is not invited. I said this is just an immediate family event.

I said I need to prioritize those people. I said she is not that anymore.

In short, I was called a petty b****.

Let’s read the responses of other people to this story.

This user shares their personal thoughts.

Here’s an honest opinion from this one.

This person makes a valid point.

She shouldn’t expect invites, says this one.

Finally, this one makes sense, too.

Sometimes, protecting your peace and your family means uninviting the “outsider.”

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.