In many work environments, unhealthy boundaries, yelling, and tense language is normal between managers and workers.

This is a sad reality for a lot of people, and it eventually can really wear someone down.

For this person, it’s clearly taking a toll on their mental health and well-being. Now, they’re not sure what they’re supposed to do.

They’ve come to Reddit for advice, so here are all the details…

Yelled at by manager for something I didn’t do.

Yesterday, while at work, my coworker put something where it wasn’t supposed to be.

Manager yells in my face about how I shouldn’t do that.

I told her I didn’t and raised my voice audibly frustrated, since she has been yelling all day, and constantly blames me for things other people did, either directly or by saying “you guys.”

She will do this in front of customers during business hours. She told me “don’t you raise your voice at me” and stormed off.

That’s a pretty hostile work environment.

My coworker texts her to tell her I didn’t do the thing she accused me off.

Later, I address her directly, telling her that she was yelling at me, and for something I didn’t do, and that it made me uncomfortable.

She said she never yells, and if she did, it would be a frightening experience for me.

I quietly insisted she did and she kept denying.

An apology would’ve been nice.

She acknowledged it wasn’t my mistake but in a flippant manner, not apologizing, while still making me the offender for “being defensive”.

There’s a culture of blame that she’s engendered at the store that was quickly apparent. She is usually audibly frustrated whenever she’s around.

The communication is poor and her micro management of where things go not being follows through perfectly serves as the most common trigger for her yelling at us.

I have told her it makes me uncomfortable and she said it wasn’t directed to me, just in general. Always making excuses for her conduct and dismissing my emotions.

Clearly talking isn’t working.

I feel too I am especially scapegoated there along with another coworker of mine.

I recorded the second half of our exchange and I plan to do so more.

I wish I could just leave and not have to take this abuse or get fired and be done with it, but money is tight and the job market wretched.

I’m trying to apply to other places and escape. I’m really upset because my last workplace was toxic as well, and all I did was end up somewhere even worse.

It sounds like an awful place to work.

One of the owners is a lot like her and speaks very disrespectfully to us as well, while the other owner never steps in to shut down that behavior from either of them.

It disgusts me that because of the power dynamic, anything I do to stand up for myself puts me at risk.

I have a long time history of trauma, being the scapegoat of my family. I’ve also felt like an easy target because I’m autistic, whether I happen to disclose or in this case not.

I took a day off to process this. I’m exhausted and my mental health is in shambles. I just want to work somewhere that doesn’t dehumanize and disrespect workers like this.

It might be time for a change…

I don’t know if I’m been there long enough to be eligible for unemployment, or if evidence of this behavior can result in legal consequences or not.

I’m job hunting now, doing my best to find something else.

I feel I’m now the designated troublemaker, especially when everyone else I work with excuses her behavior, empathizing with her and saying “she’s just stressed”.

She is ALWAYS stressed. No effort is ever good enough, because she will always find fault somewhere.

It’s so triggering and very familiar to me, seeing that same script in how my parents behaved and used me as their punching bag.

The mental health struggle is real.

But it’s still difficult not to internalize this. I can’t help but feel worthless and not wholly human, even though I know neither I nor any other deserve such treatment.

I’ve been struggling with depression and suicidal ideation given the state of my own life and that of this country and the world.

It just feels like I cannot escape this, though I don’t want to do it and it’s a serious risk at this moment.

I’m just tired of suffering and struggling with so much outside of my control.

Here’s what Reddit users had to say to this person.

The comments were supportive and educational.

This person suggests that boundaries are important.

Overall, there was a ton of reassurance for the situation.

You are not a punching bag for your manager.

If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.