After two years apart, she was excited to see her parents for Chinese New Year, until they casually announced they planned to stay in her tiny 350-square-foot studio for two weeks.

With one bed, one couch, and a complicated history of boundary violations, the idea quickly turned from heartwarming reunion to logistical and emotional nightmare. They can easily afford a hotel. They just don’t want one.

Read on for the story.

AITA for not wanting my parents to stay at my apartment when they come visit?

I (27F) live in the US alone. I came here in 2016, and have been living in my current studio apartment since 2020. I haven’t been back to China since 2021.

When I was doing MA and still had my parents’ support, I told them they can stay at my apartment when they visit. They came visit once in 2024, however it was for my graduation in a different city.

They asked to come visit this Chinese new year and at first I was happy. I haven’t seen them for 2 years and I was so excited to show them around.

That will be fun!

I almost forgot about the fact that we never had a good relationship growing up. However, my excitement was gone when they said their plan is to stay at my place for 2 weeks.

I told them it’s better to get a hotel room since my apartment is 350 sqft and will be way too cramped for 3 people, and I only have one bed and one couch.

This is not a case of them can’t afford a hotel room. They are well off and spent 10k USD on their flight tickets here for business class with no transfers. It’s much better to live in a hotel than my apartment.

So a hotel should be no problem-o.

However, my mom said if there’s no bed they’ll sleep on the floor. I told her it’s pretty messy at my place and they won’t like it, to which she said she won’t get mad and if she did I can just remind her. I had to came up with 5 different reasons before she finally agreed to book a hotel.

Not only that my apt isn’t for 3 people, but also my mom has a history of looking through my stuff. When I was young, she would read any paper I have at home, then act like she’s doing me a favor by doing so.

She also really wants me to go back to China, to the point that she told me she’s abandoning the bunny we had at home if I’m not going back and left the bunny without water for 4 days after I found a caregiver.

Oh dear.

I’m ok with having them visit my apartment, but there’s absolutely no way I can leave them alone there.

It’s all I have, not mentioning i don’t want them to hold my documents hostage.

I think back then it’s reasonable to stay at my place because they paid for it, now I’m working and have confidential paperwork at my place, it’s no longer ok.

No way.

I have work on the day they come so I booked a ride for them to the hotel and my mom said “we land at 9 so we’ll be at the hotel latest at 12, but the check in time isn’t until 4.”

I asked her what she wanted me to do and she went silent. In the end I took half day off from work and told her that I’ll take them to eat before checkin, which she said “so are we going to your place first?” And I told her “No. You guys are going to the hotel first. I’ll meet you there.”

She went silent for a few hours before telling me how hurtful it was that I won’t let them stay there when they have 4 hours until checking in, or that I’m asking her to book a hotel at all.

This is rough.

She thinks it’s CNY and she should be allowed to stay at her daughter’s place.

I would’ve said yes if our relationship wasn’t that awful growing up, but I also feel like an AH for how hurt she is.

AITA?

Redditors are debating cultural expectations versus personal boundaries, and whether “family” automatically overrides comfort and safety.

This person votes NTA, and suggests to not let Mom manipulate her.

This person says she deserves her privacy, end of story.

And this person suggests just cutting them off.

If “home” doesn’t feel safe with someone in it, it’s not cruel to protect your door, even on a holiday.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.