Imagine working at a retail store that is going out of business, and you find out that it’s your last day working there. Would you go about your day as usual, would you feel sad, or would you make the best of it?

In this story, one employee has a little fun on his last day since he knows he can’t get fired. He actually shares three stories about some pretty interesting customer interactions.

Let’s read all about it.

There is a certain freedom on your last day…

The store I’ve been working at is bankrupt and liquidating. I was hoping to close the store, but, even though there’s less than a week left (by my estimates), the chief liquidator told me as I came in for my shift that yesterday would be my last day.

There’s a certain freedom that comes when you know it’s your last day.

These are the three stories I have to tell:

One story involves a regular customer.

1. That’s inappropriate

A jolly lady, a regular who is a couple of years younger than me, came in looking for new bedding. So I show her what’s left of regular stock (nothing that matches anything else) and the stuff that the liquidators brought in (from god knows where). I tell her that the sheet sets are 250 thread count, but they seem to be a good quality thread.

“Oh, I don’t know,” she says, “I don’t usually buy less than 400 tc”.

“Thread Count is only half the story though, it’s also quality of thread. Bedsheets are like men, you have to cop a feel before you buy them”.

The lady found that funny.

She starts laughing as the old lady behind me (who I didn’t know was there) starts complaining that “that was inappropriate”.

Jolly gal told the old lady that it WAS appropriate, and she’s going to take me home cuz she had such a good laugh.

It was an offer I declined.

The old lady told the chief liquidator what I said and he nodded sagely and declared “Yes, that’s exactly right.”

The next story is about new regulars.

2. Thank you, please come again.

Since the bankruptcy sale signs went up we’ve had ‘new’ regulars. These folks are in the store every day or two, they must know the stock better than I do by now. I figure they’re scoping out what they want, hoping the discount increases again, so for the most part, I ignore them.

But this irate shopper, for a week has been complaining to all the staff that there’s nothing left in the store worth having.

It’s been explained to her at least 12 times that the store is closing and everything is being sold.

Yesterday, she decided to complain to me.

He pretends to let her in on a secret.

“There is nothing left in this store. You can’t run a store this way. When are you getting new stuff!?”

I lean in close as if I’m sharing a secret “We have to get rid of all of this first, then lots of things need to be changed. It isn’t worth coming again until June 1st. Make sure you come back June 1st.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes, you’ll be surprised to see what’s here on June 1st”

She believed him.

She continues to wander around then as she’s leaving calls out to me “I’ll see you June 1st!” which meant I had to explain to my co-workers and the chief liquidator what I had done.

They told me I’m a jerk, but I’m their kind of jerk.

The third and final story involves a really annoying family.

3. You’re Fired

We close at 6. At five to six we send everyone to the till. We block the aisles so people can’t go to the back of the store and waste our time, but it didn’t work with the Hellion family, Granny, Ma, and the two little hellions (about 9 and 7 years old).

This is a family that has been wandering the store for an hour.

The nine year old nearly tipped over an empty shelving unit onto another unit of breakable stuff and Ma doesn’t care and gets irate with me when I tell him to stop.

They are pushing past the polite staff, ignoring the entreaties to go to the front (they avoid me, big, mean looking guy that I am, but they’re doing end runs).

He had a plan.

So I go to the chief liquidator and tell him he’ll need to fire me in just a couple of minutes.

?? is his response.

It’s now 5 after 6 and I go back to ma and grandma hellion and I quietly say “Ladies, it is five after six and the liquidator doesn’t pay overtime. If you aren’t done shopping, come back tomorrow. If you are done, go and pay for your stuff and get out. If you keep wasting my time, I will go into the back room, grab my vial of holy water, and spray your children until they disappear in an unholy smoke.

The chief liquidator understood the plan and played along.

They ran to the chief liquidator screeching about how awful I was…

He doesn’t let them build up steam, he looks at me and says “You’re fired. Ladies, you need to check out now”.

There is freedom on your last day…

It definitely sounds like there IS freedom on your last day. I’m glad OP made the best of it.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to these stories.

This person particularly liked the last story.

Here’s more praise for the story.

Another person makes a point about thread count.

One person shares what they did after giving their two weeks notice.

When you can’t be fired, you can have some fun.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.