Trying to coordinate plans with a group can get complicated, especially when everyone’s schedules look completely different.

So, what would you do if one friend could never make it to group events, and then asked you to change an important celebration to fit their availability instead? Would you try to accommodate them? Or would you put your foot down and refuse, even if it meant hurting their feelings?

In the following story, one woman finds herself in this exact situation and opts for the latter. Here’s how it played out.

AITA for being honest and telling my friend that her schedule just doesn’t work when I didn’t move dinner plans so she could come.

I have a friend group from college, and there are about seven girls in the group. This is about Asha, who dropped out in her senior year of college and has been a waitress since. Everyone else went on and graduated and now works pretty standard 9-5 jobs.

Due to Asha having a waitress job, she is off when literally everyone is at work. She works most night shifts, especially Fridays and the weekends (that’s when she makes the most money).

It has gotten even harder since some of us are now married with kids (so babysitting costs). Due to this, she basically can never make it to hangouts.

The date for her engagement dinner didn’t work for Asha.

For example, a dinner at 7 pm when everyone else is off, she is working. She invited us to brunch on Tuesday (everyone is working). Sunday’s brunch, can’t come because she is working. It has resulted in her feeling left out.

I invited everyone to celebrate my engagement, which is scheduled for next Friday around dinner.

Asha texted asking if we could move it to Wednesday around 4, and multiple people told her they will still be at work or have kids.

When texting didn’t work, Asha called her.

Then, she asked about Tuesday around 7, and multiple people told her they won’t be able to get their normal babysitter at that time, or they need to spend time with their kids because it is a weeknight.

She called me after and asked if I could move it to her schedule. Her schedule is when we are working, and I told her that her schedule just doesn’t work for everyone else.

I told her I won’t move it.

Frustrated with not getting her way, Asha left the group chat.

This started an argument, and she claims I am pushing her out of the group and look down at her for her job ( I don’t). That I could change it and everyone would figure it out to be at my dinner (that is true, I am sure they would take off work for this if I asked them).

I just reiterated that her schedule is just the opposite of everyone else and refused to change it

She has left the chat, I haven’t told anyone why, and I wonder if I was being a jerk for not moving it.

AITA?

Wow! It’s easy to see that her schedule is different, but at the same time, she didn’t even try to accommodate her friend.

Let’s see what thoughts the readers over at Reddit have about this.

Here are thoughts from someone who worked in a restaurant.

According to this comment, no one is in the right here.

This reader wants a little extra information.

Here’s someone who gets it.

There’s no wonder she left.

It doesn’t seem like the other women made any attempt to include her.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.