Destination weddings are a big ask under the best circumstances, and most people know better than to make them an ultimatum.

One woman was told by her controlling friend that their entire friendship depended on her flying to India for the wedding — while the same pressure was skipped for everyone else in the friend group.

Suddenly, the risks were starting to outweigh the benefits.

Keep reading for the full story.

WIBTA for no longer wanting to go to my friend’s wedding because of what she said?

So I (26F) have this friend (25F) who’s planning to have an arranged wedding in India in 10 months.

I would have to travel from Canada, but I was considering making it work.

From the start, she’s had her doubts about if attending the wedding is worth the various costs.

There’s already some stuff that’s made me not like her very much — she talks to me in a condescending way and she’s controlling toward me.

My partner despises her, but I’ve been trying to give it the benefit of the doubt.

She’s said something recently that makes me rethink if I really value our friendship enough to spend all my PTO and money on this event.

But her friend has made it very clear she expects her to attend.

She said, “Our friendship depends on you coming to my wedding.”

I just feel like for something this big, it shouldn’t be an ultimatum — or at least she should offer to help pay for my trip.

I’m also planning to buy a condo for the first time with my partner at the end of the year.

But then her friend had another unreasonable demand.

Another thing she said is, “You better not buy a place during my wedding.”

I could make it work, I guess, but these statements have made me feel like she’s not worth it. Is it spiteful to decide not to go because of this?

She also doesn’t treat their other friends near as badly.

We’re kind of a friendship trio at the moment, and my other friend — who’s also getting married next year and is in school — has mentioned it might be hard for her to go.

I asked about all our other friends and their attendance, and she’s putting zero pressure on this friend and other friends that have school. (I also study on top of my full-time job.)

She’s starting to feel like it’s all too much.

Even then, for an event on the other side of the world, costing $1,500-$2,000 for just the flight and requiring me to use all of my vacation time, I don’t feel like it’s fair to put that kind of pressure on your friend.

She’s putting this pressure on me but not on others — I kind of have a soft, agreeable personality and I have trouble saying no, maybe that’s why.

And I’m feeling like attending her wedding is just not worth it.

AITA?

Bridezilla alert!

What did Reddit have to say?

Some people will always be looking for something new to complain about.

Ultimatums and friendships just don’t mix.

In fact, true friends often behave in the exact opposite fashion.

People like this take advantage of niceness.

If you have to give your friends an ultimatum to attend your wedding, it’s time to look inward.

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