When you have shared finances with someone, it is generally expected to both pitch in, especially when there is an unexpected expense.

What would you do if your daycare expenses went up suddenly, and you needed to borrow money from your boyfriend’s savings account, but he got upset about it?

That is what happened to the young lady in this story, and her boyfriend gave her a hard time about it, but she feels like it is her money too.

AITA for asking my boyfriend for a large amount of money?

My boyfriend lives with me. It’s my house, in my name and so are all the bills.

Ok, as long as everyone is happy with this setup, it is fine.

I pay for all the bills and expenses, rent, food, childcare etc. My boyfriend pays his own expenses (his car etc) and the rest of his income is “fun money” for dates, clothes for our 2 year old, and savings. We are saving for a mortgage together.

My 2 year old currently is in daycare 2 days a week and with family 3 days while my boyfriend and I work.

You do what you have to do.

From September, the family that currently looks after her are unable to due to their own work commitments. My boyfriend and I decided to put our daughter in daycare 5 days a week from September.

Because I’m on a low income working a minimum wage job, I get reimbursed a percentage of the childcare costs at the end of each month.

At least they are still getting by.

After paying all of the bills and whatnot, I am left with pretty much no money but that’s why we have my boyfriends. He always says its our money and I have equal rights when it comes to the savings (he has the account as he has better interest rates than I do).

I got the new invoice for September come in last night and it’s essentially 70% of my wage.

This puts her in a tight spot, but they can get through.

Now I do get this money back at the end of the month, but I have to pay it up front meaning I would be unable to pay the bills until I get that money back.

I spoke with my boyfriend last night and explained I would need £1400 upfront from the savings to pay for the childcare, but that I get it back each month and I would repay it. (this money would take us approximately 3 months to save again).

I thought it was both of their money?

He wasn’t too happy about that, saying “well what about our savings?” and again I explained I would repay it when I am able to.

He got in a little bit of a mood with me saying “well I want to know exactly where this money is going, you’re gonna have to sit down with me and draw out all the finances so I can understand it all.” he then said “well it’s the least you can do if you want that kind of money out of me.”

Is there a reason why she can’t explain it to him though?

This made me mad because he always says it’s our savings, when clearly it’s not if I have to ask permission for it. The way he spoke made it sound like I was just after money for a pair of shoes or something, not for childcare, which I HAVE to pay.

Essentially him living here rent free has allowed us both to save his wage and save up for a deposit for a mortgage. I could ask him to contribute towards his living expenses so I would have some savings of my own, but I don’t because he earns more than I do and has better interest.

This seems like a communication problem.

He thinks I’m in the wrong, but I think he is for not helping me out straight away.

Who is right?

AITA?

Money problems are a leading cause of breakup and divorce, so these two need to get it figured out. From what she is saying, however, that money is hers too, so he should be more willing to share it.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this story.

If she can’t access it, it isn’t hers.

Good point, is the child even his?

It sounds like he is the one benefiting.

I agree, either it is her money too or it isn’t.

This commenter is exactly right.

Does this money really belong to her if she can’t access it?

If you enjoyed this post, check out what happened when a husband tried to convince his wife that the money she’d saved for her sons’ future should be for his daughter, too.