The friendships you form in college often transition into life as an adult, but only if they are properly cultivated.

The woman in this story has a group of friends that she met in college, and she remains close to them to this day. When one of them got engaged, everyone was excited to attend the wedding and see her start on this exciting new part of her life.

The problem, however, is that their friend never planned on inviting any of them to her wedding. To make it even worse, she didn’t even tell them that they weren’t invited. Instead, they had to piece it together through awkward conversations.

On top of all of this poor behavior on the part of their friend, she had the nerve to send them a link to watch the live-stream of her wedding, which she intentionally didn’t invite them to. Calling their friend rude and oblivious is an understatement.

Friend didn’t invite us to her wedding, and didn’t have the guts to come clean

This happened years ago. I had (I thought) a good college friend. We’ll call her Anna.

Having a close group of friends is always nice.

We were in a tight knit study group of four girls who used to hang out with each other a lot, both together and individually.

We did choir and yoga together, studied together, visited galleries, did dinners, coffee dates and parties, talked about boys and friends and hardships and hopes.

Of course, these people are very important to each other.

This went on for years and continued after we graduated. All to say, it was fair to assume we would have a place at each other’s weddings, as we had a significant place in each other’s lives.

Anna and I used to go on long walks and discuss our lives and everything in it. Our talks would get really deep and personal (on both sides), and we were very supportive of each other. I considered us close.

What? Why would this be?

When she got engaged, I was elated for her and excited to go to her wedding with the rest of the group.

Well, on one of our walks, the talk turned to wedding stuff. She was being evasive, and at length I realised why: The wedding was planned, invites had gone out, and I was not invited.

Oh, if she is only inviting family, then this is somewhat understandable.

Neither were the other girls. This may be controversial, but I said: “Oh! I’m so sorry, I just assumed I would be invited.”

Anna got very apologetic, said the wedding party was very small and ranking your friends to find out who was invited was a terrible feeling.

It is good that she is trying to think of ways to have them involved.

She had been thinking of different ways to involve us; for instance, another girl in our group, Jennifer, was very into fashion, so she wanted Jennifer to help her find a wedding dress, and that way she would be a part of the wedding even though she wouldn’t go.

Alright. Fair enough. I said don’t worry about it and don’t feel bad, it’s your wedding, I totally understand, etc.

I can see why she is hurt by this.

But on reflection I still felt sore that she didn’t have the guts to let me know up front, but left me to figure it out for myself.

Like, she didn’t even think that I would think I was invited… I faced the uncomfortable truth that we were probably not as close as I thought. I decided to distance myself and move on.

Is she just trying to cut all her old friends out of her life?

End of drama, right? Wrong. Months pass, and I meet up with Jennifer. Jennifer and I are probably the least close of the group, but we like each other just fine.

We have a drink, catch up. And then Jennifer shares something upsetting: She has seen on Instagram that Anna’s bachelorette party came and went.

None of this makes any sense.

Jennifer is confused about why she wasn’t invited. “Who are any of these people?” she asks me. “Who the heck planned this thing? Why didn’t they know who to invite?”

Now I’m in an uncomfortable position, as you might imagine. “Are you going to the wedding?” I ask.

She doesn’t even realize she isn’t invited.

“Yes!” says Jennifer. “I’m the one who has been helping Anna pick out a wedding dress.”

“But did you get an invite?”

“No, not yet,” says Jennifer.

I bet she is going to feel betrayed.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Anna had, as planned, asked Jennifer to help her find a fashionable wedding dress… but as with me, it had been left to Jennifer to figure out for herself that she was not, in fact, invited.

The two of them had spent HOURS AND HOURS together looking at and discussing options, and not at any point had Anna thought to say, “Hey, by the way, this wedding you’re helping me with right now? Yeah, you’re not invited.”

Did she ever give a real reason for cutting these friends out?

No, I got to deliver that happy news to Jennifer then and there, including that this had been Anna’s plan for Jennifer’s involvement all along. Jennifer was understandably very upset.

The cherry on top? A day before her wedding, Anna very kindly sent us all a link to livestream the event, in case we just couldn’t bear to miss it. Completely oblivious.

Sure, it is her wedding, and she can have it how she wants, but the way she is doing this is just heartless. I don’t know that I would want to remain friends with her after being treated like this.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this story about a mother whose attitude ruined a sweet gift from her child.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

This really sums it up nicely.

The friendship has run its course.

I certainly wouldn’t want to see her again.

Yeah, pretty bold of her.

I can’t imagine what she was thinking.

What kind of ‘friend’ would do something like this? It is one thing to want to keep your wedding very small, but there is no reason not to tell your friends.

I have a feeling that these girls are going to cut the bride out of their lives after this, and I certainly can’t blame them.