“Hey, can I get your number?”

That was a particularly special line back a decade or so ago.

Rather than the more simple, “Let me give you my number” – an exchange between family members or business partners, signalling convenience or the requirement to get in touch in the future, the question “can I get your number?” had many meanings.

Sure it could just be a request from a delivery company or someone filling out a form. But it could also be the basis for a new friendship, with the subtext of “hey I know we just met, but I’d like to keep this conversation about football/video games/classic literature going if that’s okay with you.” It could be the flirty exchange that leads to a romantic relationship, those nervous words to a crush instigating further conversations and maybe even something more. Or it could be the words that preceded a rejection, uttered with hope and ending with heartbreak.

But that rush of the question? It was so much more than a simple Instagram follow.

The person in this story, however, doesn’t seem to appreciate that fact.

Read on to find out what happened here.

AITA for not giving my friend my number but giving it to others?

My friend, I’ll call her Jessy, confronted me when me, her, and another friend were out.

She started it off by asking me about this trip we planned and how she felt unsafe to go because she only had the other friend’s number and not mine so I told her “don’t you have your mom’s number?”

She suddenly asked me, “why can’t you give me yours?” I immediately apologised and gave my number, but she wouldn’t take it.

She just wanted to know why I didn’t want to give it before. I said it was a misunderstanding.

Read on to find out what led to this ‘misunderstanding’.

I told her that she didn’t ask enough, but she said that she asked multiple times. I said I thought she was joking, but she said that she’d messaged me one last time through Instagram a few days ago before our confrontation, and that she’d asked “doesn’t so and so have your number?”

I’d said “aww yeah she does and you don’t, too bad, and she’d messaged back saying, “why don’t you want to give me your number?” I’d said “oh you want my number? I thought you were joking” and she texted “I’m not joking.”

I ignored that message and just reacted to it with a clown emoji and changed the topic. And that’s when she confronted me in person and I kept saying it was a misunderstanding and that I was sorry, but she wouldn’t listen.

Then I told her that I asked if she’d wanted my number in the past, and she said no, she said she’d never said that and that I’d never asked her.

Yikes. This tale just keeps on getting more complicated.

She said that four years ago or so she’d asked me for my number through text, and she said that I’d said I didn’t have it right now and that I’d give it to her later but never did – and at the time she let it go, but this time she realised that I was texting on my phone so how can I not have it?

She said that through the years I’d kept telling her that I didn’t have a number or that it was anonymous or that I would ignore her request. Which is true, but I didn’t know it would affect her this much.

She said she thought I was private, but then realised years later that I had given my number to everyone I’m friends with – even new people – except her. She said that everyone else has my number, even the people I’d just met.

I told her that it’s because I like giving my number to people who I’m not close with, and that I like that we can be close without having each other’s number and messaging through Instagram.

Read on to find out how Jessy responded to this weird claim.

She said that it doesn’t make sense, and that there have been times when she needed to call me when we were meeting up because I didn’t have data and she couldn’t get hold of me and had to text the other friends instead.

Jessy didn’t want my number anymore – she said, “I was fine without it this whole time I’ll be fine now,” but I still texted her my number and apologised again and said there was no reason.

She forgave me I think, and she hung out with me twice after that, but she was still very distant. I asked if I did anything wrong and she said no and that she’s just busy. A few months later I asked to meet up with her and she said that she’s busy. I apologised though. Now I’m like, she left for this?

AITA?

This is the most ridiculous situation – why was she so reluctant to give Jessy her number?

Seriously, they’re either friends or they’re not. Of course she gets to choose who to give her number to, but handing it out to a bunch of randoms but not giving it to someone who is allegedly your friend is messed up.

As for the excuses? They’re beyond weird.

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Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person was not afraid to say it how it is.

While others called her out for being a terrible friend.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought the behaviour was cruel.

It’s no wonder at all that Jessy has distanced herself from this person who was supposed to be her friend. Because behaviour like this isn’t just unfriendly, it’s completely unhinged. She is trying to apply some sort of twisted logic to the situation, essentially lying to Jessy – because she knows that she has refused to give Jessy her number. She knows whatever her weird reasons are behind this. And whatever she’s trying to do – whether that’s have some sort of power over her ‘friend’ or simply be elusive or whatever, she’s lying and she’s hurting people as a result.

Let’s be real, you don’t give your number to random folk so they can contact you all hours of the day or night, whilst relegating your ‘friend’ to messaging you on instagram. You don’t send a clown emoji in response to a friend asking you for something. And you don’t taunt and tease someone you care about like this, then act all butthurt when she’s upset about it. Behaviour like this causes people to be upset, because of course it does – and pretending not to understand why she’s hurting doesn’t score you any points. Rather, it just loses you friendships.

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