Teenagers can be difficult. That’s a statement that should not be a surprise for anyone – especially since, if we don’t have teenagers ourselves, we all were one, once upon a time. So all you parents of young children take a moment to remember how you spoke to your parents – or teachers, or family members – when you were a teen, and consider what you might have to come when your kids’ hormones hit.

Because we can’t really help being unreasonable as a teenager – that’s who we are, when we have mood swings and hormone spikes, and our body is still trying to mature for us. It can be stressful and embarrassing – but let’s be real, you love your kids. So just like the newborn trenches and the terrible twos, you’ll get through this with your kids, too.

But the woman in this story never even intended to be a mom, and now she’s married and has a teenager skulking around her home.

Read on to find out how this fact caused tension in her marriage.

AITA for not taking days off from work to spend time with my partner and his thirteen-year-old daughter?

My husband (39, male) and I (37, female) have been married for three years now.

I am childless and will stay so. I knew he had a daughter, but I never had any issue with that.

His daughter, let’s call her Lara, is now thirteen years old and honestly I don’t have any problem with her being around every other week during my work weeks.

I mostly work from home and do everything around the house, including taking care of Lara. I also have a full-time job and my partner works shifts, so I get to spend plenty of time with Lara. We have a very good relationship.

However, there are things about life with her stepdaughter that are getting on her nerves.

There is one thing that has bothered me a lot lately: Lara is extremely spoiled by her parents. She is lazy and spends the whole day on her phone, tablet or TV. She won’t even walk 100 meters to the supermarket to run a small errand or get herself something.

I am a very active person. I love sports, cycling and getting out. My partner is also very active and I tried several times to get her to join us, but she complained the entire time and eventually my partner would take her home.

Even walking around a shopping centre or on the beach is a huge no for her. Her ideal day is sitting somewhere, scrolling social media and being fed.

I know she is in puberty and has teenage mood swings, but neither of her parents encourages her to be more active or spend less time online, which has annoyed me as well.

And this is leading to friction between the couple too.

My partner got mad with me once, because I asked Lara to take a glass to the dishwasher since she was heading to the kitchen.

A few other things happened too, which basically led to me not considering her as part of the household.

I also stopped being involved with her, since it was not appreciated by my partner if we disagreed. Lara is not my daughter and therefore not my responsibility. She has two parents and I figured I should stay out of it completely.

I no longer ask her to do something or join and simply leave it as an option.

Read on to find out how this situation got worse.

Anyway, here’s where I got annoyed. We are staying in our home country this summer and Lara will stay with us for the first three weeks of her break. My partner is insisting that I take vacation days to spend time with him and Lara – but I’ve refused.

I don’t want to spend my hard-earned vacation days on a kid who is grumpy all day and has huge mood swings. I told him he can spend all the time he wants with her, but I won’t take days off. I am happy to join on weekends or when I’m already off work.

He got mad and said he wants us to make memories together as a family. I told him she is not my daughter and it isn’t fair to expect me to take time off because he struggles to deal with her alone.

I don’t want to spend my vacation just sitting somewhere because moving around ruins Lara’s mood.

Let’s see how she’s feeling in the aftermath.

I do feel guilty because he said I hurt his feelings and that I am dismissive of his daughter.

I don’t think that’s fair, since I basically take care of everything, including Lara. I like Lara, but I want to spend my vacation doing things I enjoy.

So, am I wrong for refusing to take vacation days to spend time with my partner and his daughter?

AITA?

Let’s get this straight – this woman has married a man with a child, and is doing her best to take care of the home and the step-daughter, all whilst working a full time job – and now the husband is telling her she’s doing everything wrong?

Families help each other out and sure, Lara is a child, but that doesn’t mean she can’t take a glass to the kitchen – and the fact that her husband is being so critical of his wife asking the child to do a small menial task is awful and really undermining her.

He can’t have it both ways – and he’s made it quite clear that she doesn’t have a step-parent’s authority, so why would she want to spend her vacation days on her step-child?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a stepmom who says stepson isn’t doing enough, despite the fact that he’s working 12-hour shifts to pay for his own college.

Let’s see what the Reddit community made of this.

This person agreed that she shouldn’t be having ot use her vacation days this way.

While others thought that her husband needed to decide whether she was a step-parent or not, and treat her as such.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought couples’ counselling would be a good idea.

This woman never wanted to be a mom, but she is uncomplainingly caring for her step-daughter regardless. And in her role as a step-parent, it’s normal that she might have some suggestions for how Lara could be treated to avoid her growing up into a selfish, lazy person rather than a well-rounded, self-sufficient adult. But the fact that these very small things are being rejected and undermined by her husband makes it clear to see that her best will never be good enough.

So why should she be spending precious vacation days to go away and ‘make memories’ with her husband and step-daughter, when both have been quite clear baout how they feel about her. Answer? She shouldn’t – in fact, she shouldn’t be being forced to do anything at all. It’s completely abhorrent that after undermining her and suggesting that she doesn’t have parental power, he’s now insisting they have a happy family vacation. The truth is that they’re not a happy family, not at all – and it’s all because he’s not letting his new wife become a vital family member.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man whose celebratory post-grad school vacation is being ruined by his family’s insistence he’s being lazy.