I’ve noticed a trend in some of my friends’ lives in the past few years…and it ain’t pretty.

Some of them have had a lot of pressure put on them by their parents as they get older about things that really don’t seem to be an issue.

What you’re about to read is a prime example of that phenomenon, and you can understand why this woman is ticked off about her father’s behavior.

Get all the details below and see if you think she’s to blame for any of this.

Get started now!

WIBTA? Dad is refusing to see other grandkids because we didn’t invite him to a birthday party.

“My (47f) dad (76m) and I have a strained relationship.

He divorced my mum when I was 10, remarried to my stepmother SM (64f) a year later and since then refuses to attend gatherings where my mum is also in attendance which could be done separately, so essentially he has only attended my wedding, my kids’ christenings and my stillborn daughter’s funeral.

This guy needs to get over himself.

He didn’t attend my 21st birthday party or any other special occasions I’ve had, including my engagement party as he could celebrate with me another time when my mum would not be there.

To make it easier we christened our kids on their first birthday and had their party the same day, dad and SM only attended the church part of the christening celebration and didn’t come to the party afterwards due to mum also attending.

Sometimes, you gotta do things you don’t want to do…

So they didn’t attend my kids’ first birthdays either.

Please note the ‘celebrate another time’ never happened either.

My eldest was 19 and my youngest 10 yrs, before my siblings had children.

Dad and SM have mellowed in their attendance at events for my nieces and nephews as SM’s sons have children the same age and their DIL’s are calling out the poor behavior for not attending events my sisters hold.

Fast forward to now.

I recently sent my dad a link to buy tickets to attend a performance that all my kids will be in, they have happily attended these performances before and it is the only time we see them each year other than at Christmas.

Oh boy, here we go…

This was his response.

“Hi J,

Thanks for that and we hope you are all well. We would love to see the kids but only if they would like us to see us. We were disappointed that were we not asked to be part of C’s 21st.
Love, Dad”

C had his birthday 9 months ago. This is the first I’d heard from him about it. For context he was invited to our eldest’s 21 and he surprisingly showed up.

We had it at a large venue where he could be situated away from my mum. C’s party was small and in a small space where we could not have separated dad from my mum.

My kids are different people and we met their desires for their party.

She has some thinking to do…

WIBTA if this is my reply?

“Hi dad, there is no obligation for you to come and see your grandchildren perform, it is your choice. I sent you the link because I thought you might be interested but I will stop sending you information about their activities, if that is what you would prefer.

I am confused as to how this relates to C’s 21st from 9 months ago. I don’t remember you making the effort to reach out at the time to celebrate with him. And if your attendance at their performances is conditional, then we are not interested in you attending.”

My siblings think this is too harsh and I should explain more about why he was not invited to the party. I need some external advice before I hit send.”

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Let’s see what folks had to say about this on Reddit.

This person said she’s NTA.

Another individual agreed.

This Reddit user shared their thoughts.

Another person weighed in.

It really does sound like her father is acting like a little kid.

I get it, some people become a bit more immature and needy as they get older, but it sounds like her dad is taking things way too far.

Am I right, or am I right?

Her dad needs to put on his big boy pants and start acting like an adult!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a young woman who struggles with her new reality after learning her adoption story was a lie.