Pexels/Reddit

Nothing says “clearly not a cashier” like a bulletproof vest with “SECURITY” printed across it in giant letters.

A security officer stationed inside a grocery store to escape the brutal July heat soon came face to face with a clueless customer.

Ignoring his vest and handcuffs, she asked him if his register was open. So when he corrected her, instead of understanding, she scoffed and wagged her finger at him for not helping.

You’ll want to keep reading for this one.

You can not make this up

I work as an armed security officer. My company requires us to have in large print “SECURITY” on our bulletproof vest.

One of the contracts is with a commercial property management company. So they have security in the parking lot at the shopping plazas that are not in good areas.

He further describes this particular shift.

I live in Florida, it is hot in July. The one store we have in the plaza lets the security officers stand in the store so we are not in the heat all day.

The uniform for the store is green shirt and tan pants. I am in a black shirt, green pants, black bulletproof vest with a firearm, extra mags, handcuffs, etc.

That’s when he meets a very confused customer.

I stand by the front of the store by the registers. This lady walks up and asked me if my register is open because she is ready to check out.

I just looked at her and said, “No ma’am, I do not work here,” and pointed her in the direction of the one that was open.

But even this didn’t fully get through to her.

The whole time she was in line she stared at me with a look of “how dare you not help me.”

As she walked out the door I told her to have a nice day.

Some people really just live in their own little world.

What did Reddit have to say?

This commenter’s biggest comment is on the comfort of the guard’s uniform.

Some people really need to start paying more attention.

This commenter paints a colorful characterization of this clueless customer.

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If there’s one thing customers don’t do, it’s read.

There’s a certain comedy in someone glaring at an armed guard because he wouldn’t ring up her purchase, especially when everything about his appearance screamed the opposite of “store employee.”

Handcuffs and a vest that literally says “SECURITY” in large print isn’t exactly subtle branding, yet none of it registered before she’d already committed to the assumption.

He handled it about as gracefully as possible, offering a polite redirect instead of the sarcastic response the situation practically invited.

Some people just really don’t like reading.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.