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Growing up unheard by your own parents leaves a mark, and for one woman, that mark eventually became a life-threatening heart condition she was forced to face largely on her own.

As the youngest of four children, she remembers being brushed off constantly, her health concerns treated as attention-seeking rather than legitimate.

Thanks to that same childhood dismissal, an untreated strep infection soon spiraled into rheumatic fever in adulthood and permanent heart valve damage.

Facing major surgery, she’s chosen not to tell her parents directly, planning instead to let them discover the outcome through a Facebook announcement, mirroring the very communication style that defined her upbringing.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for not telling my parents I’m about to have heart surgery?

I (41F) am the youngest of 4 children.

She shares that she never had the best relationship with her parents and they’ve always managed to underplay her health concerns.

By the time I came around, my parents didn’t care.

Anytime I told them I was sick or didn’t feel good, my mother would roll her eyes like my existence was a burden and call me a hypochondriac, my father would tell me “it will get better before you get married.”

Her mother appears to care more about attention than empathy.

The last death in our family, I learned about from a Facebook post my mother made, she is the kind of person who loves attention on Facebook.

Soon, the woman comes down with some concerning health problems.

Recently, I learned I have a heart condition that no longer exists in the USA due to the availability of healthcare.

As a child I got strep throat that went untreated, because it went untreated I developed rheumatic fever. This caused my body to create antibodies to fight off the infection, these antibodies attacked my heart valve, making it defective.

So she decided she wasn’t going to be forthcoming with her family about this. But she knew a forum that was sure to catch their attention.

Due to the cause of my condition, I became angry at my parents and decided that I wouldn’t tell them about the upcoming procedure. Instead, I plan to make a Facebook post announcing the results of the surgery and let them find out that way.

As the date approaches, I’m starting to feel bad about not telling them.

Soon she starts to second-guess her plan.

At the same time, I know my mother will start making “pray for my daughter” pity me posts. I don’t want this, because I strongly believe she has no right to play the loving mother when her neglect is the reason I’m about to have heart surgery.

So, AITA for not telling my parents about my upcoming heart surgery?

This family sounds crazy dysfunctional.

What did Reddit have to say?

This woman needs some kind of support, even if it’s not from family.

Maybe her careless parents should share a bit of the blame here.

Why not call out her mother directly in the Facebook post?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who can’t figure out why her babysitter quit after what she thought was a routine question.

She really owes her parents nothing here.

Growing up getting eye-rolled and called a hypochondriac for legitimate symptoms, then ending up with permanent heart damage because of it isn’t something that’s easy to get over.

Her parent’s negligence is now having real-life impacts on her health, and even now, her family can’t be there to support her in the way she needs.

She doesn’t owe her parents the same closeness they always denied her.