He Was Furious At How His Mom Treated His Dying Father, So He Left Her Out Of His Obituary Entirely
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What would you do if you were tasked with writing a parent’s obituary? Would you be too emotional and heartbroken to do it? Would you be as accurate as possible? Would you leave certain details out on purpose and include others to create a certain impression of the parent and your family? Would you use it as a form of revenge?
In this story, one person is in this situation and uses it as a form of revenge, not on the parent that died but on the parent who’s still alive. He was (and still is) really mad at how his mom treated his dad, so he decided to leave her out of the obituary, not even mentioning that his dad was ever married.
This is odd, and it definitely raised some eyebrows. Keep reading to find out what led up to this decision.
When I wrote my dad’s obituary I didn’t mention my mom and exposed her years of abuse and neglect.
My dad died December 1, 2022. He briefly lived with me before his passing after a long stint of being chronically ill for the past 15+ years.
As his health declined he relied more on my mom for things.
Prior to this she was never a great person and fully took advantage of his disability and mobility issues as he declined.
Here are some examples of things his mom did.
For years she claimed be separated and divorced, talking to other men on the internet. She made claims many times she was going to move away and marry someone else.
In addition she took advantage of him financially.
We tried every legal avenue we could find to have her kicked out, arrested, or force her out but those attempts were met with responses that it was a civil matter and there was nothing that could be done.
He made me durable POA and added me to all his accounts.
He eventually moved his dad into his home.
This is a small portion of her abuse but I promise her actions were no less than neglectful and exploitive.
I’d tried for years to get my dad to move in with me but he wasn’t leaving the house he worked so hard to pay for.
I brought him home on hospice the day after thanksgiving and made sure his final days were the best they could be.
He eventually got revenge.
After meeting with the funeral home to carry out his final wishes I was told they required consent from my mother to allow me to cremate him.
It was no surprise she initially told me no and only agreed after I “allowed” her to keep the social security survivor benefits, which would have been hers anyway 🙄
I wrote his obituary and left her out of it.
There was not a single word or mention he’d ever been married or had a spouse.
He has no regrets.
I didn’t feel she deserved to be recognized or viewed as a grieving widow when she spent their marriage as a bad spouse and person.
She lost her mind and there were many questions from friends and family alike.
I’ve spent years in therapy working through maternal narcissistic abuse and believe if she didn’t want me to talk about it she shouldn’t have done it.
When people asked about it I was honest about the years of abuse my father and I endured from her. I’ve completely ruined the public image and victim complex she spent years creating. I might be the villain and AH in this scenario but I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
His mom does sound kind of awful, but it is odd to never mention that his dad was married when writing the obituary.
It’s a good thing he’s in therapy. That should help him process all that he’s been through.
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Let’s see how Reddit responded.
Here’s a vote for going no contact with the mom.
Another person thinks he did the right thing.
This is a good point.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who refuses to change her 4th of July traditions for her in-laws, sparking a family feud.
Another person thinks he handled it well.
I probably would’ve handled it slightly differently. It’s weird not to mention that he was married. I’d at least include that bit of information, but he wouldn’t have to include anything else about his mom.
In the end, she doesn’t deserve to be perceived as a mourning widow when she’s probably not actually mourning at all.
I’m glad he’s in therapy.
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