The world changed a few years ago, and ever since then, more and more companies are taking advantage of letting their employees work from home. There are many benefits for workers and employees alike, but as anyone who has done it can tell you, there are drawbacks as well.

For OP, his is in the form of his parenting duties, which his wife can’t seem to handle on her own while he is on the clock.

He and his wife have two children, one a toddler and the other a baby. He works a regular schedule during the day and his wife is home on maternity leave.

Their toddler goes to daycare for at least some of the time during the week, and OP does more than his fair share of night wakings/feedings with the baby, and takes time out of his day other times he really probably shouldn’t.

So my wife and I have two kids. One who is a bit over 2 years old and another that is 5 months old. I work Monday to Friday 9-5 from home, occasionally go in to the office. My wife is on maternity leave and taking care of the 5 month old. I take care of the baby for over night wakings and feedings.

The 2 year old is in daycare. Whether I send my kid to daycare 1 day or 5 days a week for 1 hour or 8 it costs the same. My wife likes to pick up our toddler from daycare around 3:15 everyday instead of letting me go when I finish work because she doesn’t want our kid to be there so much during the day. The problem is I am left watching the baby for the 45 minutes while she is gone and then for the hour that she is taking care of both of them she gets overwhelmed, stressed, very annoyed at me and our kids, it’s just not great overall.

Every day my wife tells me that she is exhausted, she has no time to herself she doesn’t get things done that she needs to, she’s overwhelmed, just wants to relax when the baby naps etc… I try to help out with the baby during the day when I can, like feeding and putting him down during my lunch break. I just try to be available throughout the day if my wife needs me.

Things came to a head when she decided she wanted to keep their toddler home one day. She was feeling guilty, and even though he reminded her that she gets overwhelmed and that he wouldn’t be able to help, she insisted.

Anyways, on to the main point of this post. Last night my wife tells me she wants to keep the toddler home from daycare today. I told her that I didn’t think it was a good idea. How was she going to feed and put the baby down for a nap while taking care of toddler? She already gets stressed and overwhelmed just looking after the baby. Why put herself through more stress?

I told her that I could not take the day off of work and she would be alone taking care of both kids.

She said she really wanted to spend time with both kids and felt like she doesn’t see our toddler enough. Fine, no problem, if she wants to do this it is up to her, I reiterated that I would not be around to help.

Well, things went as expected, and she was angry with him for not leaving work to help out.

Cut to this morning, I got up at midnight and 4 am to take care of the baby. I get both kids ready and made breakfast for everyone.

I start work and sure enough, 20 minutes after I started, I hear my wife trying to tell our toddler that she just needs to go in the other room to put the baby down for a nap. Of course the toddler doesn’t want to leave her side, toddler starts crying. I can hear my wife getting frustrated. Wife finally leaves to put baby down and comes back. She now has to juggle going back and forth trying to settle the baby by putting the pacifier back in (we are starting some sleep training) and the toddler who wants all of her attention.

Finally baby gets settled, wife is obviously stressed and tired and it is 9:45am… She comes in to my office where I am working and asks did I not hear her struggling? Why did I not come and help.

Should he have? Or do they just need a different solution?

AITA for telling my wife I told you so, that I said I would not be around to help and this is what you get? That she should have let me bring our toddler to daycare?

Let’s hear what Reddit has to say.

The top comment says the answer is simple, if not sweet.

And this person wonders if it might not be better for OP to return to the office.

This comment says that work-from-home is not the best solution for everyone.

They think his employer might have something to say about it, too.

This person worries the wife needs to be screened for mental health issues.

These two definitely have some issues to sort out, and it does seem like his wife is struggling more than might be considered normal after five months.

I hope she’s ok and that they can get back on track.